I learned the feeling of hate. Never thought I would.
I'm a legal immigrant that came to the U.S. over 15 years ago. I'm now 21. I'm gay, and was bullied through Middle School and High School. I was slapped, spat on, beat up, and bullied CONSTANTLY. I did terrible in High School because of all the bullying, so I went on to a Community College. I graduated with an AA and with a 4.0, although I did not make any friends and never spoke to anyone. I would just go home and do homework and sit in class. Then I decided to go somewhere I thought would be more "inclusive." However, now I'm going through a new type of discrimination, racism. I live in a place where everyone is white and American, and clearly do not want to associate with me. I tried really hard to fit in, to make friends, and change my life around. I got a job, go into a top college, and have been involved with school and really concentrated on my homework. Seems magical doesn't it? But guess what, my co-workers choose to not associate with me. My teachers give me lesser grades than the ones I have earned, no one wants to be my friend, and my roommates treat me like if I didn't exist, all four of them. I hate my life. I hate everyone around me. I hate the world.
The harder you try, the harder things get. And sometimes the weight is so much on your shoulders that you collapse. Right now I'm at that point. I'm about to lose everything. And the only thing that keeps me from diying is a mother who has done EVERYTHING for me. I'm so sorry that I'm not as good as a son as she is a mother. She works so hard and has done so much for me. I love her so much. But if it weren't for her, today I will not be here. And let it be known that I only live because the thought of having her to go through my loss doesn't let me go in peace. But if something was to ever happen to her, you better believe that I will KILL MYSELF OFF THIS PLANET!!!!!!