Sometimes, I like to pretend that I have friends and people care about me, but I know in reality they don't. My mom doesn't either and my dad barely does. All they really care about is each other. Of course, they don't mind their other kids, who treat me like shit, but I'm just the devil to them.
My mom spends her day ranting about my dog, who I've paid loads of money for. She was my birthday present. I paid $600 for her... She will scream and yell at me and tell me how she doesn't care about me when I ask her to do something like sign a paper or vote for a scholarship essay I wrote... I can't pay for college, so it would be nice if my mom supported me just a LITTLE bit.
I spend lunch in the library, because out of the 900+ people in my grade, I'm only friends with about 6, who all have a different lunch.
Every time I'm upset, I think about how badly I want to tell someone. Guess how many people I have that will listen or even try to care? That's right, none.
I live in a rich city. I'm the only poor person around really. That means I get treated like the plague. People ignore me, because I have crooked teeth (can't afford braces) and I don't have much clothes. It costs over $150 to graduate and I really don't want to spend that money, but I have to. Who graduates without a cap and gown?? I would love to save that for college, even though I'm about 100% sure I'll never get to go... But, no. I want to, for the first time ever, feel pretty. I want to wear a pretty dress to Prom, but I have a mediocre $25 dress that's only knee-length, not floor-length like everyone else's.
I've honestly just given up. I can't afford to live, so why should I? Any time I say I'll probably have to live with my parents for a while, they complain, because they have been waiting so long for us to get out. They say it's their turn to get to live, because they want a good life. So, basically, I, their CHILD, am not good enough to make them happy.
I wish I could die. I wish I could cut, but that just makes everyone mad. I have few friends and the ones I have would just stop talking to me if I did... I hate my life. | |
You need to get your priorities straight, not just your teeth.
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