I' m a 22 year old female. Just a lil background. I came to this country 6 years ago by myself. I come from a family of good values and morals. I'm the only child so I was raised under my mom's skirt. My mom went through a lot with my dad for not having an education or any economic resources to be on her own. She was with him for 25 years even though he was always married to another woman. He said he would divorce her but he never did.
Two years ago, I moved in with a guy I knew for a couple of months. He is a well educated person who seemed very charming at first. Since I was in this country by myself, I thought I had found a parner, and I wasnt going to be alone anymore. Everything was going well the first year until I started snooping on his phone and personal computer. What I keep finding ever since is driving me to insanity. One day I found out he was contacting escorts and who knows maybe paying for service too (I said maybe cuz I never found proof only back and forth texting). I confronted him and he gave me some bs as a excuse.
From that moment on, I just keep finding more and more stuff. Every month I find some new shit. Last summer I found out he was trying to get with every women he got in contact with through his social page. He says to these women that he's single and that they look like girlfriend material. With many many different women he had this back and forth texting relationship. One day I found he was talking with a transsexual escort. I confronted him and he again gave me some bs. To judge for the texts I saw between him and this "shemale" I could just tell they at least met once and had some sexual contact.
A couple months ago I found out he was in a texting-relationship with another woman for at least 3 months. I just found the back and forth texting but since this relationship in specific lasted for so long, who knows what really happened.
I think he has psychological issues (he comes from a very unstable family). A person who constantly looks to cheet with anything can't be normal. He IS A PUBliC FIGURE so he works with models with makes it easier for him to do this.
So you might wonder why I dont leave him? The thing is that I have nowhere to go. When I moved in with him I quit my job and all my family are back in my country. Sometimes when I confront him when I find new stuff and he slaps my face and then fu**s me after. Other times he says he's gonna change but he never does. I feel like I'm worthless and so dissapointed. I dont know when my prince became this douchebag or if i just didnt see this side at the beginning. He also might be confused about his sexuality and thats why he feels the need to "talk" to so many women. When he's mad at me he throws me out (he knows i wont leave cuz o have no where to go) but when I make pretend i absolutely looking for a place he tells me not to and that was in the heat of the moment.
I'm going to college but everytime I find something new I get very dipressed and I feel this is affecting my performance and mental stability. I have many goals and I feel if I live him I might not be able to continue with my education. I feel I'm repeting my mom's story. As my mom, I'm also going through a lot because I can't afford to leave him and be on my own. That's why I'm so desperate to finish school. So I can be independent and send him to fu**k himself. But until then I dont have many options. I still love him but love doesnt make me blind. I know this is not a healthy relationship and O also feel he's not the right for me. What should I do? Should I just pretend nothing is happening and try to just concentrate in my school and whatever happens happens until I graduate? Or what? | |
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