Age: 25
Sex: male
Problem I: Girls
All my life I never gave up. When I was miserable at something, I put a lot effort in it to fix it.
When I turned 14 or so, my face turned into a fucked up piece of garbage. I had acne all over it. People either made fun of me or they had pity on me.
When I fell in love with girls, I always knew that I didn't have the slightest chance, but my friends always told me to try it - so I did. And I failed. I failed all the time. When the girls I was in love with knew, they always avoided
to speak with me and even broke up their friendship with me.
I read books on how to attract women, I trained but I never had success. Not even slightly.
Problem II: Intellect
My friends always made fun of my intellect since I was pretty much dumb as shit. So I started to fix it in learning as much as I can. Now I am a physics student in his final year, just about to write his final thesis. Problem is: I fucked it up. In this year I didn't produce anything which is scientifically relevant and honestly I don't know what to write in my thesis.
Problem III-infinity: Still lots of shit going on, e.g. depressive mother who abused alcohol, ....
I lost all hope. I must admit that I can't fix all my problems. In fact, I couldn't fix the important problems. My hate towards all those guys, who always try to push you up, grows. They say that it gets better. They say that you can change it. But the truth is: You can't.
It seems that they don't want to admit that life is not fair. They blame you on your miserable life. And most importantly you blame yourself.
Some people cut themselves to communicate to other people. I burned myself with a lighter because I hate everything about me. Now there's a fucked up scar on my arm. Also on my chest through cutting.
On some days I can't think straight. I only have the deep wish of dying. I can't work, I can't sleep, I can't live. I don't believe in any religious fuck nor do I believe in afterlife. I just want my life to fucking end.
The only reason I didn't do it is my mother. It would break her heart and she would again start to drink alcohol (she is clean at the moment).
So I am trapped.
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As far as acne goes, I can totally relate. I am in my mid 20's like you and started getting acne when I was 13-14. I learned what triggered my acne and what to do in order to prevent and clear breakouts. Do NOT eat chocolate, nuts and soda. The culprit is mostly sugar especially chocolate. Use an oil free cleanser with salicylic acid 2x a day, morning and night. Do NOT overuse because it will dry out your skin making the acne worse. Use an oil free moisturizer with sunscreen. You need to moisturize because you do NOT want your skin to dry up cuz that will worsen acne. You do NOT need to go to a dermatologist for him/her to prescribe BS meds. Over the counter works fine. Trust me, I went to a dermatologist and it did NOT help much. They just want to make $$$ so they keep prescribing u crap.
Please do NOT do anything drastic. You shouldn't go to a dermatologist but maybe see a doctor about your depression. You are an intelligent, healthy young man with so much left to do and see. Do not do anything to yourself.
Be well and G-d bless.
Stay single and start thinking about physics. God is the root cause of physics and there are many secrets yet to be discovered. These secrets are usually revealed by large teams and not single individuals. It's because of the remaining mysteries. They are becoming more and more complicated to crack.
Also, start thinking about how you can apply your physics degree to the Financial Industry. There are plenty of people with physics and math degrees who work in the Financial Sector writing numerical models. There is a PILE of money to be had in the Financial Sector.
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