LIFE SUCKS

I did this myself and now I hate me

I sometimes wish I hadn't been born. My parents split when I was young and they both re married. My dad is a drug addict and in prison on his third strike and my mom died last year of a drug overdose. I hadnt spoken to my mom in three years cause she hated my wife and I had finals so I didnt go to the funeral so now everyone on that side hates me. I was an electirian for four years I got laid off, lost my house my ex took me to court and since I use to make good money I'm expected to pay 1000.00 dollars a month and I get 400.00 I lost my car and now drive a P.O.S. I was feeling really low and was driving on a back road and drove into on coming traffic at the last minute I swervered and avoided the car. I didnt want the other person to get hurt over my stupidity. Right then and there I wanted to change so I went and got a tattoo that said "Jesus I'm ready to come home." I got a job at a bar as a door man which gave me little cash for gas money. I was still feeling pretty bad about myself when I met a cute girl. We hit it off and were doing pretty. We got married and everything changed. She now controls everything I do. I cant leave the house and she has tabs on me at all times. I've never cheated or given her reason to think otherwise. I hate the fact that I'm 31 and trapped in a marraige I dont wanna be in, and I have no where to go. I'm on anti depresants which dont help cause I think about dying all the time. The worst part is I'm not this guy. I'm a really happy very funny guy who loves to do things. Now I'm not and since I dont have friends I reduced to pouring my soul onto a page and pray someone says something nice.