I have been living in a new country for 2 years. The country I always dreamed of living in. I'm a citizen of this beautiful country but my social skills suck. I'm shy.. horribly shy and antisocial. Not by choice, I've always been this way and always had to "force" myself to talk to people or be a little more outgoing.. but its not in my nature and I constantly suffer (in my head) for it.
I don't have a single friend here, I've been fired or quit jobs due to my social skills.
It hurts not to have friends.
I have a long term relationship, which is the only good thing going for me but he is constantly frustrated by my shitty social skills. How do you even change that?! how do you become more outgoing? I'm 30 years old and I haven't changed no matter what I do.. I've been through therapists, medication, drama school, acting classes, community groups but nothing seems to make me change. I have a constant desire to be more outgoing but end up feeling ackward and uncomfortable in social situations which in the end means I kick myself for it... I hate myself for being this way.
I haven't had a job in 5 months, I've gained weight during these 5 months too which affects my self esteem. The constant being at home doing nothing is making me eat non stop. My partner doesn't find me as attractive anymore.
I have an awful feeling I am pregnant. I haven't had my period for a week (and I'm extremely regular). No job and now I worry I am pregnant (I'm taking a pregnancy test tomorrow). My partner wants us to move out (we are in a shared accomodation at the moment) but it all depends on me getting a job for us to be able to rent a place somewhere else. I'm scared it won't work out. I don't want to depend on him financially.. I CAN'T! we can't afford this!
we can't afford any of this, my life is a massive mess.