I'm 23/M kinda slender guy. I zone out sometimes and all i heard my life was being called lazy by my family. Even though I feel like I actually done things right it just goes back to that word - anyway.. I had to move back with my parents from a leased house with room mates, which im still paying for btw, just rent. I'm not sure if i had a life there. a long story put short they made me leave and if I didnt want to go to jail for my "actions" then I would pay rent till August. I had gotten really drunk and sexually assalted my female room mate by grabing her boob. when I awoke I was told to move out. Which I agreed and would take full resposibility. Cept the lease ends in August and well I'm broke, no job, and parents are on a verge of kicking me out.
- I moved out when I was 22 to live with my g/f and her room mates. I signed a lease till the end of this year from last year of jan. then she broke up with me. And I was in a state of depression and lived litterally across from her room. when she finally moved on to persue her dreams, mine wasn't going anywear. I drank alot. I failed college twice. I drank and drove. I had hangovers everday. I was killing myself slowly. Then I got fed up drunk I guess and drunk molested my female roommate's boob. And got kicked out. -
- I felt horrified by my actions when I did wake up and relize the damage that I was doing, done. I'm usually a nice person. And not this drunk angry dusch. I felt empty at that moment like I really hit rock bottom. So I went back to my parents who didn't want me at all at first. Depression set in so I went to my friends place who glady took me in a few days till it was time for me to leave-
_ upon getting to the point. Their isn't one. I moved back into my parents house. looking for jobs. selling anything I own to pay off rent. Till I get a job. I'm going back to see my shrink. to tell everything I posted on here. I hope I do. If I don't how exactly will I get the help that I need_
- moving back with my parents. things I could and could not do:
1. No drinking and driving
2. curfew
3. bedtime
4. chores
5. No drugs
6. No life but must live
- but I get free food, warmth, and a roof over my head. Is what I thought.
after a month I stopped drinking, I cleaned up, I volunteer help, I'm still looking for a job, I'm doing better or I keep telling myself that.
- btw i put dashs and underlines down cause it makes me easier to read and makes me feel better.
_ i had sex last week, one night stand. _
and here I am. Just doing the same thing broke. but alive no money. alone but with loved ones. trying to do good. thinking less of killing myself. only makes it worse. I never took meds for depression, adhd, or minor things.
I still feel really empty though. Im really worried. I feel as though I'm going to die tomorrow or never wake up even if things are getting better.
well hello this year. | |
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