LIFE SUCKS

Hard Times

My life seemed picture perfect when i was younger family vacations and good times. But I was naive . When I was 16 my parents divorced because my dad cheated on my mom a couple of times. One time someones husband spray painted on our front door to stop calling this girl he was "friends" with. He would explode with anger for the smallest things and was diagnosed with bi-polar. I remember one time as a child he flipped out because I couldn't do the alphabet right. The year after they got divorced I saw him like twice that year and he lived in a shit hole. My dad and mom began to see other people almost instantly, and me and my brother had the house to ourselves and we got drunk and high everyday. I then moved with my mom who was emotional torn and repeatedly asked me if I still loved her and she was emotion abusive and gave me anxiety. We went from a house with a pool to a small two room condo with no privacy. My brother lived with my dad and eventually was kicked out to fend for himself. During all of high school I suffered from cholinergic Urticaria which is chronic hives from heat and sweat. It's painful and extremely itchy and makes a lot of situations awkward. I couldn't concentrate in class or keep a job because i had to go to the washroom a lot because of the pain. No one in my family understood how debilitating chronic hives is, and would make me feel guilty for not keeping or having a job. I graduated a half year late and studied audio engineering at a private college but dropped out because of the hives. I went on steroids to suppress the hives and I am pretty sure it opened the door up for hpv. Now i have hpv genital warts. I sleep during the day and wake up during the night and can't find a job. I know live with my dad and his wife who sits around smoking cigarettes all day and complains about me to my dad. My dad will send me these dramatic emails or texts sometimes over some stupid little thing that I did. He even made it that i have to go over to my moms every other weekend now so that him and his wife can have some more alone time and that they never got a chance to enjoy the house because I moved in a month after they got it. She doesn't work but somehow this house is half hers. I suffer everyday with hives and wonder how i am going to build a life around them. I also want to move out so bad that it's giving me anxiety and hard to cope with the people around. I even hesitate to go to the kitchen because i can't be around their presence. i'm 21 years old, no education, no job, live with people i can't handle, i have chronic pain, no girlfriend, and hpv...my life fucking sucks