Okay where to begin? Let's see...3 years ago I had a high-paying career, very fit/beautiful, benefits, my own place, freedom, friends and a loving boyfriend. When the economy sunk, I lost my job, benefits and then my boyfriend dumped me and married someone a year later. I lost all my friends because I was so damn depressed that I packed on 60 pounds and was ashamed for anyone to see me. When I look in the mirror, I cannot believe what I've become. Also, I had no idea what I could talk about since I had nothing going for me. Then I lost my freedom as I had to move back to my mothers house @ 30 years old.
Presently, I have been only able to hold down temporary gigs but my depression usually gets me fired or let go before my time is up. My car is about to break down on me and then I will have no transportation. Living with my mom has been pure hell. She tells me constantly how disgusting I am and how much she hates me and wants me out. Oh and she constantly is calling me a loser. Which technically, now at 32 and in my situation, I guess I am.. I have started college again but it just seems so hopeless as I have dug myself in such a deep hole that I don't think I can get out of. The last 3 years have been so miserable and I've been going through this completely alone as I cannot call one person my friend. Everyday feels like I'm just floating through and totally invisible to the real world.
I really hate my life. | |
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