LIFE SUCKS

yes life sucks

I am 22 years old, i'm still young and yet, I feel like I already have done everything that could entertain me. For the last years, time has stopped flowing and i stopped caring about it. Sometimes it takes me a long time to remember how old i am. I have been smoking tons of weed in the last 7 years, which seems to have permanently fucked up my short time memory. While some people i know smoke in 2 months what i have smoked in the last 5 years, i still am feeling like a rotten vegetable with no purpose. All the things that made me happy before now seem dull and purposeless. I have met the woman of my life and destroyed our relationship by not caring enough about how important it was. This girl was the girl of my dreams and i probably won't meet another like this one. I dumped her, cold hearted, for no appearant reason. I never felt that stupid before. I never trusted human beings any way. I might have lost any hope in any sentient creature. Yes life sucks but not that much. I guess it could be worse. I guess i just should keep jacking off every morning while holding the plush toy i gave her for her birthday. Sometimes i cry when i do it. I guess that's the last way i can still feel happy, without her...