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I hope the world ends in 2012

Posted by stupid loser at February 13, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 February  Friendship  Philosophical

I have no friends. I have NO friends. I am fed up with facebook and the pretend friends that I had on it, so I started to delete anyone who I haven't had any interaction with in the past year, and it was ALL OF THEM! I cancelled my phone plan because no one calls me and I don't have anyone to call. I feel like such a loser. I applied for PA school but I got shot down. I am back in school as a post bach because I fucked up my undergrad (I have a low GPA, I'm stupid) and now I have to start all over if I want to try again with PA school. I'm surrounded by young college students who are full of life. I am dark inside, I feel like my heart is ebony. I moved over 3500 miles to attend the most gayest school. I moved to have a fresh start, to try make new friends, have new and better experiences but I hate this school, and I just tripled my school loans attending here. I haven't made any new friends. No one wants to talk to me or know who I am. I feel that I am the only asian person at the school! I think everyone here thinks that I don't understand english. Fuck all of them, I was born and raised in America bitches. And the ones who do talk to me can't believe that I'm 26 years old! Is that old?! I didn't feel or look old until they made comments about my age. I'm getting fat because I binge eat my emotions and I stopped exercising because the fucking weather is so damn cold!I go straight from class to the library and study my ass off. I want to get all A's to prove to everyone, including my family, that I am awesome and I am the best. But in reality, I suck and I hate the pressure to do well.I crumble to pressure and I easily get defeated I'm the fucking middle child and I am the only one going to school, yet I still get ignored and I get no props or good jobs/congrats, no I'm so proud. . I wish I had more support, I don't have any from my family or my boyfriend of two years.Did I mention that my boyfriend came with me. He insisted in coming, he was going to get a job and help out so that I can focus on school. Well, he's now super depressed that he's out here and can't stand it and wants to go back. How does that make me feel to know that I ruined another person's life too. I feel like shit and I hate my life even more. It makes me even more depressed and more angry! I'm busting my ass trying to better my life, I'm trying so hard and I don't see any results! I moved and tried to start a new life. I suck and I will always be a loser no matter where I go. I'm running out of money and now I have to have to get a job to pay for rent. Well, there goes my good grades and all of this time wasted in trying to do well and focus in school. I hope the world ends this year, at least it would be something to look forward to. Fuck my sad life


Votes:


Similar Entries:
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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 22,Feb,12 22:23

The same thing with me! Zero friends, and I deleted anyone who wasn't my friend and it was everyone but my family and eventually that was too much too. Not that I even had more than a few friends to begin with. So I perminantly deleted my facebook (not deactivated, actually deleted it.) Nobody misses me either. I bought a cellphone once with a plan and NEVEr used it. We are so alike! Maybe you should quit college or trnasfer to a new one rather than lose your bf, he's all you have. Ask yourself what do you want to do for work? Will your degree get you a position? Are their openings in that field? If you don't know or if there's not then don't attend school until you have a definite plan for sucess.


By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 04:37

i got no friend too and my family sucks it full of fights and am also so depressed but just hang in there thats all i do
By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 21:12

My family fights to.I don't have friend that I can trust. Everyone is a big mouth!
By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 21:15

My best friend is changing. She is so rude! I feel like I have no friends I can trust.Everyone is a big mouth!
By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 21:16

I meen all my friends are changing!Everyone is rude!


By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 11:19

Focusing on an education and career can really help. I am not just saying that. If you can dedicate time and effort into learning the information and skills necessary to get hired in a career field you would be interested in, you would likely meet people that are WORTH your time and energy. Yes, the people you make as friends should be worth it. Otherwise, they're not worth it and you're better off without them. I've had so many people I thought of as friends in my life and out of all of them, I still talk to 2. I'm in my late 30's, now, but vividly remember wasting a great deal of time with people who are now worthless and being around them nearly turned me into a worthless person, too.


By anonymous at 23,Feb,12 16:51

That sucks, having fake friends who you donít really interact with can make everything seem worse when you donít have any real good friends, I think there are a lot of people that can relate to you with that, I am one of them. Please donít assume that the people around you are racists because they donít talk to you and you are Asian, they would probably be just as self-centered and unfriendly no matter what, they are probably just not nice people.


By anonymous at 02,Mar,12 22:24

I hear you! I actually felt exactly the same as you. I was staring at my facebook profile yesterday and just wanted to start blocking people cause hey, they arent real and they dont give a s@it! Its digital and after a while makes you feel even worse especially when you got zero activity in your life and you get the social updates of others with pics of their brilliant lives...I do have "friends" but they arent real. They are around only when I laugh and pretend Im happy but when I am in need nobody bothers! If I were you, Id focus on the education! Do not worry so much about your boyfriend because it was his choice comming with you and what will happen if god forbid you 2 break up???You will be beating yourself up that you didnt go on with your studies that might land you a decent job and a better future!!! F@ck your family. I will give you validation!!!My family did exactly the same. You dont need to be perfect. Just do what you have to do to have the best options possible in life and then we'll see who has the last laugh! Do not even be concerned about those b@tches at school. I am Greek and studied English in the UK and they were constantly on my case cause I wasnt my native speaker. Next time they say something tell them "say what you want but I can officially kick your ass in two languages, want a try?" Racist idiots...


By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 05:30

I'm asian too! I went back to school at the age of 34 to a Master's program in a small town in Ohio. That was such a big change coming from Los Angeles, and I did it physically and financially alone. As for money, would you consider school part-time so you would have more time to work? If not you may have to take a break from school for a year to work and save and then continue with your PA program later. Or you may have to rely on loans and credit cards like a lot of people do as a student and pay it all back once you graduate. It's definitely a tough road and it will make you nervous as heck, but you will get through it.

It sucks not having friends other than your bf, but I hope you don't feel you messed up his life. I'm sure your bf is glad to be part of yours otherwise he wouldn't have moved with you.


By at 04,Apr,12 16:31

I wont go into detail but I understand where you are coming from. Im not Asian and dont know why everyone is giving you a hard time about it but yeah life sucks a lot of the time. Its mainly the 00s and current era that really blows. People are far more depressed do to lack of jobs, music is shit, everything on tv is a fucking reality show, gas is rivaling coke prices at this point, people lost the sense of honor and joy in their lives. The only thing that keeps me going is anime lol. Just because its the last story driven thing left in this world. Im broke, hate my gf, cant find a place to live, cant find a new job, my parents are fucking retards.


By anonymous at 21,May,12 16:30

what can i say...... SHIT HAPPENS!!!! mostly to me!


By anonymous at 08,Jun,12 06:36

I agree, I have so many student loans that there is no future for me. I hope it ends.


By 52 with almost nothing at 05,Oct,12 09:09

My house is paid for. but I'm renting somewhere else sending money home so my wife can live a good life. I only eat crap dinner, pea soup, noodle soup, and beans. My car died so I'm taking the bus. I have a dead end Job. my boss is an ass hole. I don't have anyone to spend time with on my days off, so I watch TV and play games on the computer. I don't even want to leave my room. I have no plastic to pay off, and I'm sick of it all. So if the world would end, then all my wishes would be answered.


By pauldiggy at 09,Oct,12 21:48

Damn, sounds kinda like my life. She even writes and talks like me! (Except I'm Latino.) I even was about to go to PA school myself but now I am 1500 miles away from my home going to school for a PhD. WE HAVE TO REMEMBER TO TRY KEEP THINKING POSITIVE THOUGHTS.


By anonymous at 04,Dec,12 18:18

Yeah, 0 real friends, 0 money, annoying family,got married but we dont live together anymore for 2 months, annoying job, bills to pay... i hate it


By Jumbo at 05,Dec,12 02:56

I had a great job. Got a little lazy and decided to quit. I have not friends outside work. After i quit i realized the major fuck up that i did. Now none of my work friends are in touch with me and i cant get a job anywhere else. Im just filled with regret that i fucked up my own life. Just feel like shooting myself every time i wake up in the morning. God please take my life. I just feel so stuck up. Its been like this for 4 months now. Living every minute is like torture with the regret just haunting me within like an evil spirit


By anonymous at 16,Dec,12 12:52

I'm with everyone here! They say 'life is what you make it' however how can you make your life anything without friends or people who appreciate you for who you are. I'm a very negative person with negative views on life in general, so therefore I'm never really going to get on with many people.
The fact that I want the world to end next week '21st December' makes me think I've lost the plot completly, but in all honesty why not!
Even though I have a lot of hate in me, I'm also very sensitive. I have more than most people but yet it still never seems enough, I take so much to please.
I wish hate on so many people including myself, most days I wish I was dead, however somedays I'm okay.
To sum it up life is what you make it, but unfortunately for some people like me you struggle to come to the true terms of life and appreciate it. It's unfortunate but you can't change can you? My answer to this is no, because if you change it's basically fake and who want to live that life!


By anonymous at 16,Dec,12 16:16

i welcome the end with open arms, my last words will be "its about time"


By anonymous at 18,Dec,12 22:17

My life really doesn't suck, but I think the world is pretty fucked up. So fuck it and let's end this shit and start over again.


By anonymous at 20,Dec,12 16:35

guys let's just say all who want the world to end are cynical and selfish.. you guys want the world to end because you don't want others to enjoy with what don't have in life.!

If you are a loser you could always hope to die and maybe reborn to a have good new life.why do you want the world to end?

p.s. anyway i also want the world to end ;)


By anonymous at 20,Dec,12 16:37

@stupid loser!
atleast you have a boyfriend.!


By Dilmurod at 07,Mar,13 06:07

That's a sharp way of thkiinng about it.


By Nino at 10,Dec,15 17:20

Literally blew me away !. Early early am . Tears your story (yes) This tells me that & it is an affirmation that there is anhtoer person that loves life . That is willing to step into the art of inner . Explorer.When you see my art ;you will understd this comment.B


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