life sucks can't sleep, can't socialize, can't think. Im too much removed for acceptable and take it too seriously. If only i didnt care what other people think. If only i could start over with a clean slate maybe ill do the acceptable things this time around. im so different from everybody. I try to cling to the happy things in life, there are many to be sure but the difference is that the bad is constant continuous and i see no way out. Never have what to say when its expected. So many mental challenges. cant figure myself out. aware of every single possible consequence of every single movement till etrrnity drives me crazy because so much to be worried about. Cant remember everyday things i should unless i really really need to, always itching always readjusting position, stands out, can never just do my thing when other people are around. Have to think everything through not to upset anybody not to look like... cant pretend im comfortable cant pretend anything transparent. or else its apparent that something is off. ambitious but too lazy at the same time. Need alot of rest dont know why maybe because all of the above but if not cant help it that i feel like i have to be by myself peacefully more often then everyone else but for any job its required. | |
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