LIFE SUCKS

I hate my parents

I think trying to write this will help me vent my anger out a little because it bothers me that my own parents would treat me like this. Im the youngest of my 3 siblings and most people think the youngest child is spoiled, but I have yet to be indulged.

Im 26 and I still live with my parents and its very depressing. The only thing good in my life is my gf who lives with me because living around here cost at least $400 a month in a apartment. I currently switched careers and can only find part-time work as a emt at the moment. I was in paramedic school but I feel I have made a huge mistake and can't handle the stress it involves. Yes I understood this before I went to school but once it physically happens it can be overwhelming. The pay I receive is complete shit, I only make 8.25 for saving someones life. Being a paramedic isnt any better average is like 14 an hour. The worst call I have been on was when a 3 y/o child stopped breathing. I just remember his mother crying frantically asking us to save her child. Unfortunately we weren't able to save him.

Well the reason I think my parents are complete shit are because they aren't fair at ALL. They paid for my sister (she has no hands) to go to a private art college for 2 years (cost 40,000) and paid 2 years extra for her masters degree. So her total college expense is almost $100,000. I dont even get a fucking dime, I got the A+ scholarship and ended up with a degree in culinary arts. After that big mistake I took an EMT class ($1200) and after that Paramedic ($5500). The funniest part of all is my sister is 30 and still lives at home with no job and now my parents are paying for another degree. Why the hell do I get shitted on? I have asked and begged my parents to borrow money to go back to college but they think I changed my mind too often and wont put up with it. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and I have a hard time keeping a job, its not the fact that Im lazy but I get extremely bored with things.

I just dont think its fair that my parents paid for my other 2 siblings to go to college while I got stuck with community college. I feel like I have done something wrong and my parents are ashamed of me. I dont feel like I fit in my family and I grow depressed because of this. Sometimes I wish I didnt even exist.....