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I wish I was beautiful!

Posted by uggo789 at February 16, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 February

I don't know why I'm obsessed with being beautiful. I'm a 23 year old woman, I'm smart, I'm talented, funny, kind... and humble, despite how this comes across. I have a good life, I have few but good friends, I have a great, loving family, I live in a peaceful country, I have a roff on top of my head, etc. Yet, I feel miserable all the time because I'm ugly. I feel miserable because I fail to reach the "ideal" sought after by men and society.

I wish I was hot, and beautiful, and that men treated me the same way they treat beautiful women. Men don't even give me the time of day. I'm not bitter or introverted around them... but there's just this difference in treatment, you know? Like some will be complete assholes and treat hot women great and they'll treat me poorly or even mock me. But then there are nice guys who treat me like a friend and treat beautiful women, I don't know, in a more chivalrous way... sometimes it's obvious, sometimes it's subtle, but as a woman, I can tell. And I can tell it's because of looks. And it doesn't matter whether the guys is in my league or out of my league, or any of that crap, they all want a beautiful woman. I've seen guys who're really ugly, and they do the same thing.

And there's just so much pressure to be hot. To be beautiful. Guys in my age group grew up watching a lot of porn, so they have very specific preferences which I don't meet, like blonde hair, blue eyes and most importantly, big boobs and cellulite-free thighs. I'm not fat, I'm not uber skinny either, I guess I'm average weight, but I have extremely small boobs and thick thighs with cellulite. I also have boring brown eyes and thinning hair (how it sucks to be a young woman with alopecia, ugh, at least it doesn't show that much, but maybe in a couple of years I'll be screwed). I know looks don't matter (supposedly), at least not for most things in life, but it still eats me away, I think about it constantly, and I can't even watch TV for long without feeling bad ('cause in my country beauty standards are really "porn like", with women having huge boobs and all, and the media is very male dominated and sexed up, even the news!).

I know this is not such a great problem, or it may not sound like it, but it really gets to me and affects my self esteem to such a degree that I often cry myself to sleep or feel a lot of self hatred when I see my reflection... I was just born with ugly genes, not much to do about it, since the typical "exercise and good diet" advice won't help my alopecia, my ugly eyes or my lack of boobs. Life for an ugly young woman sucks! My friends always get the attention, the dates, etc., and all I get are "friends" and being treated like the "wing girl" and just getting guys to talk to me to get them with my friends. I hate that. I wish I got the attention for once!


Votes:


Similar Entries:
life aint beautiful April 24, 2012
id rather not be even though i am. July 27, 2010
I am so alone March 17, 2012
43 and i live in a van. June 20, 2010
life isn"t beautiful like i thought. January 11, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 24,Feb,12 20:44

Brown eyes are prettier than blue. If you have hair loss you can try peppermint oil or hair loss shampoos. Also getting more layers and volume or curls can help how it looks. So what if your boobs are small as long as they aren't saggy.

Im a woman too and I totally relate. True beauty has been perverted. In tribes women dont even wear shirts and the men aren't walking around with hard ons for it. Its just natural, not oversexed.

Be beautiful in your own right. Have confidence no matter how people treat you by knowing you are good enough. Don't be another worthless woman who cuts herself up to conform to perverted standards. That would make you very ugly on the inside, by doing something like that. By causing other young girls to hate their natural God given forms.

Don't even thirst for attention, know that you deserve it. Command respect. every woman needs to get in touch with her inner goddess.


By lonelyguy at 25,Feb,12 00:51

I bet you're not nearly as unattractive as you believe yourself to be! I know a lot of women who think that they are extremely unattractive but, in reality, are very beautiful. Obviously I cannot say because I cannot see you, but don't worry, I am sure there are plenty of guys who think that you are beautiful :).

I hope that all goes well!


By anonymous at 25,Feb,12 01:33

don't worry about small boobs .. there is some prettiness in what you consider "ugly" .. remember: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just trust yourself more.


By at 22,Mar,12 16:38

Welcome to life! Enjoy your stay.


By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 00:55

I know what you mean. I always wonder how amazing it must feel to be naturally beautiful. I'm female and think how nice it would be to not worry about my body/face. If only my nose were smaller, hair thicker, skin smoother...then I feel guilty for thinking this way. My friend is a guy and he also feels this - like how great it would be if he could have muscles and be tall...we work out and get nowhere...sure we can't magically grow a few inches, but there's little improvement in tone and overall appearance...I guess we got dealt with these genes. But I still wonder what it must be like to wake up in the morning being tall, skinny and gorgeous. Because we only live once...this is it. Some of us will never know.

Also, I think most people reply to these type of questions with "personality is what counts...who cares if you're beautiful if you're ugly on the inside."

Why do they assume beautiful people are ugly on the inside? I think when most of us wish to be beautiful, we want both - beauty & personality. I've known some great people who were also beautiful on the outside. Of course there are people of all types of personalities.


By best pron at 26,Oct,19 05:31

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By suba suba at 07,Nov,19 07:14

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