I hate my life. I hate my family. I have too many family members and they are all angry, bitter, hateful people masking as good Christians. I hate them and their hypocrisy. We live a well-off life and so I cannot complain without feeling guilty...but all i know is that I'm alone.. literally my ONLY FRIEND is my dog, and she's about to die... (and yes my father JOKES about that.)
My family tries to piss me off, and once that is done they try to get under my skin and into my business. when we're not screaming at each other, they're trying to bug me-- i want to be left by myself because i don't want them. if they had paid attention to me as a child, maybe i would need them as the young adult i am...
look, there's no legitimate tear-jerking reason for my unhappiness... and that's what scares me.
what scares me is how easy it is for me to isolate myself, to cut myself, to develop issues when my life wouldn't be judged as all that horrible...
and yet i cannot stop how i feel. i cannot! but i need to get it down somewhere...why not here. because in all honesty, this is the most helpful thing i've done for myself in a while. this is the first time in a long time that I feel like i'm actually telling someone about my life...
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In religion? Good for you, you have got some friends who respect and fear. Thinking of quiting? Better for you, drop that disappointment and hypocracy. Find religion BS and never believe? Smart people, but on the sad side of life for seeing the true that hurts like cancer until you die.
I don't hate my parents, its just that we are extremely and painfully different. They are highly religious, I'm an atheist. They don't approve of alternative lifestyles; I'm both bisexual and involved in S&M. The list goes on, of course they're unaware of a majority of it. But itll come up eventually. And itll permanently change our relationship.
Keep writing about what you're feeling, it helps.
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