i just had to let some words out of my chest, couldn't post on fb, couldn't even tweet cuz some people i know follow me , plus i don't want my followers to think i'm nuts.
what's the point of living... idk. probably suck in all the goodness and hatred in this world? maybe just let the world know my presence? just exist and suck in someone else's air to breath? just expand and declare my independence? all this is pointless we are just a random mess, yet already decided to be so when the universe started. we are destined to be here , there's no free will for us, yet we feel like we have it. what a game this world is. ultimate joy for a sadistic being called god, if there ever was. one might say if i believed in the supposedly "holy" books i wouldn't be writing this. however that's really not the case. the more i look at them, the more hollow the meaning of life is. it looks more like a made in china toy to me. what a pathetic race are we . is there really beauty? is there really love? idk... right now everything sucks. fuck. i really need to find something that will give me reason to be happy to live. yes! that's what i need. i don't want to live just because i'm afraid of death. and yet again my childhood hero jumps out from my chest, tells me are you sure? don't wanna live some single life? when i try i can't ... this must be the borderline where single guy can't die can't live. i'm so confused whether or not that's reallllly what i want i just want to know what i want. i want some time. time, please stop wait for me. i know u won't u fucker. u suck. if we lived in a timeless place maybe that would undermine our lives, maybe 100 years is enough. why life change u suck too. life was good when i was child. i wish i just age to an old man so that i won't give a rat's ass about what others think of me and vice versa. this seems like life... sorry to be living. but i should be... it's a tremendous luck to be born i should be happy... sorry all the unborn people. i wish i could give u my place. can someone just destroy my soul pls. let me shift delete no more nothing. | |
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