Sure, other people have had it tough, I get it. But damn, my life is just one bad mistake after the other. Parents get divorced when I'm 9 years old and go through a lengthy custody battle. A few years later, when I'm 12, my mom fights for me again. I originally chose to live with my dad but when I accidentally saw my mother crying in her room(I barged in), I crumbled and told her I wanted to live with her. It was a lie though, I told the lawyers in private that I wanted to live with my dad and she found out, and "shunned" my sister and I. Then she went and had two replacement children. Then I move away from all my childhood friends at 14. I get into a destructive 9 month relationship at 15 that ruined any chance at having another relationship in high school. She would go around telling everybody the most horrible things about me and even if they didn't believe her, they thought that if they went out with me then they'd have to deal with my crazy ex so they wouldn't.
Not only did I not have another relationship but I ruined any hope I have of being with the one I truly love. I met her freshmen year in high school and she is the only person on the planet that understands me. I'm so happy when I'm around her. We're still friends, even past high school, but I am forever friend-zoned. I have to hear about all her relationships, how they go bad and what they do to her. I'm there for her, I care for her, and I do what I can. But all I can do is be patient and maybe one day, she'll realize that I've been waiting for her. I doubt that will happen though because now she is far away and I am here alone. She went to college and...I did not.
On top of all that, I DID go to college but I dropped out. I absolutely hated the college that I picked. I chose the college because a friend was going to it, and I wanted to room with him. Turns out that he's a shitty roommate, and now I live in a shitty town, with a shitty job and a horrible roommate. I have no direction, all I know is I want adventure. I want to be able to tell stories when I'm old but I'm 20 now and I feel like I'm running out of options.
I hope one day I'll wake up and see a solution in front of me. I hope one day I'll stop making these mistakes. I hope one day, I can be happy. | |
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