in second grade...my mother gave Me the option to decide if i wanted to be home schooled or not. being a child i picked staying at home all day, duh. i stayed home schooled til 9th grade. went into high school with no fiends, no social skills, no style, no money, no clothes, no nothing, no clue what to do. i went thru my whole high school life with no fiends what so ever, just tormenting bullies was the closest bond i had. til senior year when i reunited with my old friend from grade school. to this day he is still my only friend, and i graduated 2 years ago. after high school i went into community college, where i ran out of gas money for the commute and my family wouldnt help me out what so ever, thus ruining my financial aid and any chance of gettin back into college. i remember one time comming back from college i was broke down on the highway for EIGHT hours, trying to get my parents to come get me, they said they were hurrying, but they showed up with home made pizza, all of my family was wet, i found out after i called they all went swimming...went home..made dinner..ate it...hung out...THEN came and got me. and made me watch them eat pizza the whole way home. my family truely doesnt care about me. ive ran away 3 times and theyve never searched. you think ur life is bad?
After my college stuff was ruined, i got a good job at this warehouse, 12/12 shift 4 days a week, not bad. but my mom was overly jealous that i made more money then her. so she made it a point to let me know that if my car ever broke down, that theres no chance i could take hers, that if i needed to go to bed early, that theres no chance she will keep the noise down. and she kept her word. i came home from a 14hr shift and wanted to go straight to bed. she said shes not turning the music down and i need to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. i tired. couldnt find ne where. didnt go to sleep that night. went to go to work the next day, car wouldnt start. mom wouldnt let me take hers. and i lost the job of my life. i would be far better of in this world if i would of been put up for adoption when i was young, this family has ruined me, what parent lets a 5yr old choose to go to school? what parent ruins there sons job and schooling? As for a girlfriend, im in love with a girl and my hearts reserved. with a gay girl. we hooked up for a summer and had the best summer ive had, ever. ive never connected with someone so much, never laughed so much, neer had so much fun, never seen ne one more beautiful. then she decided to move a state away and be with her gf. leaving me back here with my drunk dirty horrible family, i cant shake the love of her. shes told me it wouldnt work out cuz shes gay...but i still cant shake it. i think about her when i wake up, when i got to bed, i have dreams about her, idk whats wrong with me. i only wanther, and no other girls even catch my eye, i think im a pretty sexy dude and i have babes checkin me out all the time, but i dont want them. i want that girl that made me happy.
all in all my life is a train wreck. 21 and still live with my mom that tells me im shit everyday, kicks me out everyday, my parents just split up cuz my dad wasa drunk compulsive liar, which makes my mom twice as unpleasent to be around. no job, 1 friend that i rarely see and is addicted to meth, no girl cuz my hearts confused.
go to bed crying every night...wake up miserable...think about suicide on the regular...everytime i think about it i breakdown and cry..cuz i know one day ill do it..one day ill have had enough and want to show my mom wants shes done. what the lack of caring and horrible mothering has done.
if i had a good mother...i would have never been homeschooled, i would of went through school, made it through college, and would have a nice job right now. but no. thats not the life i was ment to live i guess. i predict ill still live here when im 30 and ill hang my self from the cat walk right outside my mothers window. and no one will even realize im gone.