I guess it all started when i was 17. Everything was awesome. I had soccer,great friends, and an amazing gf. Of course me being naive, i appreciated none of it. Now i long to have fun i just to. I graduated high school and over the summer me and my gf broke up. I was a jealous type and it was totally my fault(i learned my lesson now). Because she was such a great girl it took about two years to get over her. Those two years were so hard because girls dont like me because im ugly(which is why i shouldn't have ruined things with the one great girl i would ever have a chance with). So i got really depressed about being ugly. Also in these two years i found out my personality changed from fun and crazy to boring. I found this out when my friends who i use to do ridiculously crazy stuff with started hanging out without me. So now im ugly and have a bad personality...im screwed. And i keep getting myself into bad situations with bad girls that i only get with because i think they will make me feel better about myself(it never does). So every time i think i will get out of this rut i never do. I'm wasting my life. I dont i cant even explain all of this crap i feel. Pretty much the basis of the story is everything bad keeps happening(ie. wasted a bunch of money on college classes i didnt need, have a job i hate more than anything,etc.) and the bad never stops. it seems the bad will never end. every time i think this is when it changes it doesnt. Im 20 now and things still suck and im lonely as hell. I also have always believed God did this for a reason but i feel now that i have already learned everything i was supposed to so why are things still like this? i dont i just kind of wanted to vent but now that im here to vent i cant get it all to come out. | |
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