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Do as I say not as I do

Posted by Julia at February 21, 2012
Tags: 2012 February  Life Story

As much as I would like to blame God for my horrible luck. I have to take responsibility for some of the garbage life has thrown at me. I don't think I've ever met anyone who has said "My life is GREAT!" I think the overwhelming majority agree that life sucks and I'm not sure how much God has to do with it. Though I have asked myself the question "why does God hate me?" or "who did I piss off in a past life?"

My real life sucks story started a long time ago pretty much with birth. At 2 I had given myself a hernia by age 6 the hopless romantic that I was, believed so much in fairy tales that I would catch and kiss frogs. Rather than landing me a prince, I ended up with a parasite and almost died. Of course being sick for several months with no one able to figure out what was wrong with me for a long time, didn't make me vary popular with the other children and parents. Of course it wasn't contageous in the end but of course mass hysteria sets in and many people avoided me for years.

There were a series of bad relationship choices but the most recent takes the cake. I had met by all accounts a decent kind, loving man who had his own business his father had his own business and things seemed great. The resession hit their small businesses hard and they closed their facilities a couple of years ago an opportunity came around for them to purchase an existing viable business. They researched the company reviewed finanicals etc... but were unable to obtain financing due to the past business closures. Since this was my future husband and father in law I of course was willing to help as much as I could. I supported them finanically as best as I could and obtained a business loan to purchase the business for them. Since they were experienced business men I figured they had everything under control. The seller of the business owns and opporates the business next to the business purchased and the seller is also the landlord and owner of the building.

A few months in things were not what they seemed. The utilites of the building were not split and we were paying for the utilites for the entire building. In addition in a file cabinet in the office we found reciepts of the seller putting money into the business as loan's but it there were no loans indicated on the finaincials just income, clearly inflating the income of the buisness that was purchased. Obviously, I filed a lawsuit against the landlord and seller for misrepresentation and breach of contract among other things. Since the lawsuit an audit was conducted and it was determined that my now former fiance and father stole about $10,000 from the business. To add insult to injury I first found a post card addressed to my fiance with a note that began with "Honey Bear" in the body were phrases like, I miss you tons, love you so much, see you in a couple of days Love your "super sweety". Just so we are clear "super sweety" is NOT me.

I'd like to say i'm not a psychotic female however, my actions that follow may be subject to debate on that issue. I like any other fiance found his phone that he often kept out of my sight and took a look. There were multiple incoming and out going calls to one "LK" so I called and a woman answered. I was so flustered I hung up. Confused as to why I felt so flustered since that was in fact what I was expecting. I took a look throug the emails, and there were multiple emails to and from a woman with the first name that began with an L and a last name that began with a K. And contained in those emails were things I would hope no fiance would ever have to see. There was one in particular which talked about me. Stating that he never loved me and the only reason why he was with me is because I could get the money for the loan and once I signed the business over to him I would be out of the picture and they would finaly be together.

I felt sick. So here I am in the middle of an ugly and i mean UGLY legal battle with the seller/landlord who will stop at nothing to damage the business I own including but not limited to shutting off various utilites, spreading viscious rumors about me, and pressing criminal charges against me that are later dismissed.... but still.... and I find out my fiance and his father have been stealing money and while i was fighting all of this and plannning a wedding my fiance has a girlfriend waiting in the wings...

So now I own a business, have a full time job, am still in an UGLY legal battle witht he landlord/seller who is still damaging the business relationships dispite at least three court ordered stay orders, I caught him on video tape coming into the business after hours and going into the cash register filed a police report and nothing has happened to him. He's still being himself. He has recently decided to shut of the gas valve that runs to my side of the building and refuses to turn it back on so I am trying to go through the legal system to get him ordered to turn it back on, but I am assuming he's just going to ignore that order too becuase he knows full well nothing is going to happen to him. I am in the process of considering both busienss and personal bankruptcy and since the business loan is partially securred against my home I'm probably going to lose my home. My attorney's have not been so helpful and if anything they have done more harm then good considering I have all of the evidence to support and yet nothing has happened. Now I am in the process of finding new counsel though that is easier said then done. And paying retainer fees again isnt' fun or easy.

Right now, yes, I feel that God hates me just a little bit. But, I keep remindng myself that GOd wasn't the one who made the decisions that got me in this position. I had free will and I chose poorly. I understand that I'm supposed to be learning something from all of this but there are times where I question whether or not I am smart enough to figure out what those lessons are and there are times where I question whether or not I'm strong enough to see this painful legal process to the end. I haven't even really had a chance to morn my personal loss, though even if I did it's better to find out before I married him that he was that type of a man then after the fact. So far the only lesson I think I have learned is to trust my gut. If something doesn't feel right, stop. Chosing to ignore the feeling is stupid and I have no one to blame for that other than myself. Crapy life situations don't really have much to do with God. There is some level of luck involved but ultimately we are delt the cards that are delt and how we chose to play those cards is on us.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 28,Feb,12 21:08

File for bankruptcy and get far far FAR away from all these people as soon as you can. You were really wronged and those people will have VERY BAD KARMA for it. I can guarantee that your ex will NOT find love in this life, true love is too divine for people like that.
You didn't deserve that, but you got to be more discerning with people. Surely, there must have been signs, that this guy was not devoted. Cues from his actions. Pay attention to the little things. It was never your responsibility to help your finance in such a way. Your bf or another one of their family members should have taken out a loan and joined the enterprise. If they didn't have any relatives willing to take part and help with their venture, then thats a sign that not even their relatives trust or want a part of them.
People can be terrible but some people like you can be wonderful. Its about time you get some good, but you have to get far away from that cesspool of scum bags for that to happen. Move on and don't ever look back hunny!


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