LIFE SUCKS

i hope it doesnt get any worse...

well im 27 and havent had a life anyone would like living when i was a kid my mother tried to have my father killed. i watched him get shot and a few months after he left town and i didnt see him again for 20 years went through high school with a chip on my shoulder and somehow made it out with good grades at 21 had my first daugher then another 2 yrs later both with the same woman while the whole time helping her fight a heroin addiction seeing and doing things i dont wish on anyone to help her. all while going through technical school for 3 yrs and holding full time job and school. finally she left me and tried to take my beautiful girls away from me. i lost my job with a ford dealer was hit head on at 45 mph totaled my truck had to use my classic car to get around and save our relationship and failed. blew the engine in my dream car and had to sell it. lost my house. i spent 6 months fighting in court for custody before she finally settled out of court on my terms. we now have a fair relationship separated. it has taken me the last 3 years to get my head above water and still when i do something comes along and tries drowning me again. i have only been able to get 3 jobs in the last 3 years and they have only lasted for 2-6 months every car i get to try and get around to find a job breaks down and winds up costing more then its worth to fix. now my ex has my kids because i cant afford to take care of them anymore and the state wants me to pay child support when i cant even pay my own bills nor can i find a job to do so. i dont have a current running car to find a job no one can or will help me and i dont know what to do. i have lost everything once and now that i have started getting it back it seems like the world is trying to take it all away again. no matter what i do to make things right it just gets worse and worse. it feels like im in quick sand and the more i try to get out the deeper i go. i have tried to keep a positive attitude about everything but the more i look at my life the more it seems that im destined to not have a life worth fighting for or being proud of. im tired and havent had a decent nights sleep in 8 years, sense i started tech school. oh ya and i still owe 89 thousand dollars for my tuition from tech school. im only making enough on my unemployment to pay my rent. have to borrow money from friends to pay all other bills. and it seems there is no end in sight to our countries economic crunch. our debt increases daily and jobs decrease daily due to business cutbacks or what have you. and im a mechanic one of the worse careers to be in right now. everyone wants there car fixed for free or they do it them selves leaving me with a cut rate industry with thousands of mechanics competing for the same job. and me being younger and lesser experienced in the field then most im pretty much left with being 5th string pick when no one else will take the job. so trying to find a job is next to impossible for me but its the only thing im good at. fuck my life.