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Lonely 30's

Posted by LG at February 23, 2012
Tags: 2012 February  Loneliness

I am 33 and I feel so alone. All my friends are married/with kids/in relationships and don't want to make time for singletons. Every relationship I've had is a failure and every guy I fancy now is taken. I feel like I've missed my chance and I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I've tried to make an effort to meet new people, go out etc but it is always me that makes all the effort, nobody else bothers. So after awhile I can't be bothered either because I think 'what's the point?'

It's a vicious cycle too because loneliness causes depression and nobody wants to hang out with a morose depressed person so therefore I become more lonely!


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Comments:
By Mark H at 29,Feb,12 20:42

Just over 50 and would say it is hard to see so many single people not finding a place when there is one...look around there are lots of things to do around you. Volunteer at a Church, club or other place people hang out. Get INVOLVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sitting on your ass would make me depressed.....but in some cases this is not going to help and you may need to talk to someone or if this is during the winter months mostly FIND a way to get light/sun and increase your time in the sun.....seasonal depression is real, I have friends that do time reading in their light or next to the window and it really helps.


By kifi4@hotmail.com at 29,Feb,12 21:05

Find a hobby(ies), spent time to bake and cook food to share with neighbour, get intelligent pets that interact with you like 3 years old kids. Look for friends on gumtree. Loneliness is a necessary pain to experience in life.


By bob at 01,Mar,12 06:28

Watch Bridemaids, laugh, think, and then try something new.
You're not alone. There are tons of single people in their 30s. If you want to meet a guy try eharmony or one of the real dating sites.


By anonymous at 01,Mar,12 19:00

I guess you will just have to lower your standards and get with the nerds and geeks you rejected all these years.


By anonymous at 03,Mar,12 11:49

Yeah, I know how you feel. Most of my female friends are either married or they are frantically looking for a man and once they get one they just disappear...which poses a lot of interesting questions...for example...are they real friends? I mean, having a family and kids is demanding but ultimately if you cant even find a couple of hours every few months to say see your friend then are you really a friend? Or even call nothing fancy you get my drift...And most pertinantly, if you are the type of person that values their independence and wants to have a circle of people that will be there throughout their lives and not just for the "single-young-lets go party phase", are you happy ANYWAY befriending those that give up on EVERYTHING as soon as they get the wedding ring? (or as soon as their personal need is met eg getting the dream job or whatever?). I dont think these are friends at all. People are sociable beings and if they just marginalise themselves it means unfortunately that they were sociable for a REASON in order to ACHIEVE A GOAL. I am 33 myself and I hate the fact that everybody just assumes that my life is over just because I happen to be single. I mean, you could be doing all the right things and s@hit happens! You cant exactly order a partner. You can look in the right places but this "live in a little confined box and follow social conventions" is really getting on my nerves and so I feel you!!!! The only advice I can give you, the one that I follow myself and have seen some difference is this. Try and try and try to get friends over and over again. Get your priorities right, soul search, and know what types of people you like and just go out there and try to befriend as many people as possible. Get creative and DO stuff. That is the only way. Friends are not going to come knocking on our door unfortunately! Join as many places as possible and give people a chance even if they are younger or older. One of the mistakes I did was assume that if I befriended a girl a little younger (say 5-6 years) younger, they would think of me as too old or not interesting or that an older person would not think of me as worthwhile due to lack of life experience. That is crap. What matters is values and a kind heart. So bear that in mind and that way you will definitely have more options! Hang in there.


By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 00:46

I can relate to you. I'm on the internet typing in why am I so lonely in the search engine. I have a job where I can loose myself in, but on the weekends i feel lost. I just went to a movie for the first time in months, because I never wanted to go alone. I'm don't feel depressed, I just can't understand why it's hard to meet people when you don't go to bars and your 43 years of age.
By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 23:44

i'm 21 and I can answer that question for you. everyone is focused on their lives, their jobs, their families, and they don't have time for much else. I'm in college right now I should probably appreciate it more than I do. anyways I can imagine that must be hard, i've thought about how hard it will be to make friends once college ends in a year or two...there needs to be some better way


By anonymous at 21,Aug,12 03:35

i will be ordering a mail order bride then she what happens


By crorkz jremy at 23,Nov,14 12:28

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