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God Hates Me.

Posted by anonymous at February 23, 2012
Tags: Appearance  Childhood  2012 February  Health  Relationship  School

My life has always been a living hell, my childhood was horrible, and I can't remember one happy memory from it at all, I was always chubby so in school I was bullied and traumatized, every, single, day. School was HELL, pure hell.
Until I dropped out at the age of 14 because I couldn't handle it anymore. At home I had 3 older brothers who always bullied me growing up, a father who didn't think girls should go fishing with him and my brothers every night, I was suppossed to stay home and do chores. I had no friends, not one. At age 14 my oldest brother produced a child, then went to prison for drugs, and his flake of a gf left the child with my parents. Well, my mom had to work, and my father had more "important" stuff to do than to raise another child, so guess who got to be the "babysitter"?. More like a mother, I had to take care of her every single day, and play the role of a mother, and housekeeper, at age 14, until I was 21 and finally moved out, My teenage years waisted raising my brothers kid, playing mom and housekeeper, and chatting on the internet with my "only friends". In which one hellacious online dating relationship with a married man scarred me for life. So there I was, an emotionaly fucked up, 300lb teenager, diagnosed with depression and bi-polar, and social anxiety disorder, alone, no friends, parents didn't want me, raising someone elses kid, God hated me, I was sure of it. fast forward a few years and now I am married to a man who is 20yrs older than me and is so much like my own stupid father it makes me sick. Out of desperation for love I settled for the first man who'd take me, and now, here I sit, 1 year into the marriage. Depressed....sad...alone....miserable. He wont have sex with me, ever, claims he cant get it up. He acts like he settled for me, not the other way around. He burps and farts like a cow. He lost his job and now we have no income, and nobody will hire him. life sucks. so bad, its one thing after another. God hates me, of this I am sure. I am now 29yrs old, 315pnds, and cannot loose weight nomatter how hard I try, I hate my life. this is been the most waisted life ever. And I see nothing ever being good in my life. I will die never experienjcing the thing people call "happiness".


Votes:


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Comments:
By anonymous at 01,Mar,12 21:52

You CAN lose weight. Subscribe to Shape magazine or Allure magazine for motivation. Join the YWCA gym trust me on this.... and drink lots of carbonated water (no sugar or calories) and eat healthy food.. dont eat brownies or sweets that much.. they way to not eat them is to not buy them. You need to only have willpower shopping at the grocery store..because if its not in the house, you can't eat it.
After you feel better about yourself you can get out of that relationship. My brothers wife did that was 300lbs then she worked out and left him. Furthermore the guy sounds totally wrong for you, it has nothing to do with you because some men do love heavy women and go on plus sized dating sites to find them.. which is another thing, even if you dont lose the weight, you can find a guy on a plus sized dating site who at least treat you like a guy should. I dont know why you're married??
By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 15:14

I guess I always thought that if I found someone to love me for who I am then I could be happy, I was 260pnds when I met him, now im 315, he wont even touch me, I hate my life right now, I wake up depressed and im crying within an hour of being awake, I just want to sleep my life away but I can't because I have insomnia, I dont want to hurt my husband by leaving him, he is trying so hard to get a job but nobody will hire him, we have no money so the food we get comes from a food bank. We let a friend couple move in with us to help keep us afloat but they are so lazy they wont ever cook or clean the house,I wake up every morning to a filthy house that nobody will clean. I'm just at my wits end in life. I don't know what to do anymore. I have a gym membership but because of my social anxiety disorder its really hard for me to even leave the house, and with no more insurance I can noloner afford my depression or anxiety medicine. I have nothing good in my life right now, whats the point of even trying when God hates me so much?
By anonymous at 23,Mar,12 17:32

I love it when people try to tell you that God loves you, every bad thing that happens is just your fault. Makes everything better, doesn't it honey? First off, call your doctor, he/she can get you free medicines. Ask about meds for your anxiety too. If your brain is running in circles screaming in pain, nothing will ever change. He hates me too babe. I started out in the same mess.


By anonymous at 06,Mar,12 15:13

GOD DOES NOT HATE YOU. Why would you even say that? Do you think god is capable of hate? YOU did this to yourself. if you hate your life so bad then do somthing about it!
By anonymous at 09,Mar,12 15:52

God DOES hate me, and yes he is VERY capable of HATE.
By anonymous at 07,Aug,12 19:39 Fold Up

How do you know? You probably have the perfect life... no problems.

Try being on the hate side of God. It's better if I ignore God.

God has favorites and if you're a woman, unless attached to a man, then forget it. God doesn't care about single women, or women's problems.
By anonymous at 12,Mar,13 23:33 Fold Up

You know who God likes and hates bc...You ARE Him??? LOL..I see why you're anon. posted...(btw my name is Anna, just too lazy to register). Don't quote the Bible, first of all, it's a subjective source, second, if it were, objective, God didn't hate Job, huh? Job didn't do that to himself. But ppl like YOU tested his love for God supposedly...what you said IS NOT "WWJD" as Christians say.
By anonymous at 01,Apr,13 23:30 Fold Up

God does hate her. He hates you too.
By anonymous at 16,Oct,16 00:22 Fold Up

God is love, love is God
The world makes us feel like we are "hated" and rightfully so, life is not easy and sounds like it has been very hard for you. The God I know loves all people the world I know is not so kind


By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 01:19

Move to new zealand. you dont have to pay health insurance.(: and God doesnt hate you. everything happens for a reason. this is probably just his plan for you to make you into the person you were meant to be after you get through this. stay strong
By anonymous at 09,Mar,12 15:53

If I had the money to move I would! I don't have it in me to be strong anymore....I just don't.
By anonymous at 07,Aug,12 19:40 Fold Up

Bullshit! God's plan! What fucking plan? I've been waiting for 55 fucking years for God's plan to be revealed to me.

Don't listen to this bullshit.
By anonymous at 11,Aug,12 17:05

Were told by theologians and religious people that Gods plan and Gods ways are mysterious and unknowable and that justifies thousands to millions of years of evils cruelties miseries and horrors in the world. Our finite human minds they say cant comprehend Gods unknowable ways. And thats supposed to execuse evil and suffering in the world because God has an UNKNOWABLE reason and an UNKNOWABLE plan. This is called theodicy which is making execuses to get God off the hook for the screwed up condition the world is in. Why doesnt this God communicate with us and tell us His UNKNOWABLE reason and His UNKNOWABLE plan? Enlighten us. Why keep us in endless suspense and ignorance? And is this UNKNOWABLE reason and this UNKNOWABLE plan a rational one? Is it a sane reason? Is it a sane plan? Its up to God to prove that to us but He chooses to keep silent and secret about it. What is this God hiding? I personally think this God has some kind of deficiency in Him. Something is amiss. And noI cant accept having free will and Adam and Eves sin as execuses to ruin and trash your creation. If its the
By anonymous at 11,Aug,12 17:19

I got cut off by the computer. Let me continue. As I was saying if its the Devils fault why evil and suffering exists then why does God allow this? Something is wrong with this God no matter how I look at it. This God has some kind of deficiency no matter how I look at it. Im not even sure this God has any reasoning. Im not even sure He is rational. Im not even sure He is sane. Any being who has to allow thousands to millions of years of evil sin suffering death and extinction is mentally and morally different from a rational and moral human being.This God is not all good and not all wise by my definitions and His ideas of morality are different from mine. Its depressing and frightening and this is a win for the Devil. I can picture the Devil laughing at this irrational incompetent God. Gods irrationality is a win for the Devil because this irrationality continues to allow evil and suffering which the Devil thrives on. This irrational negligent incompetent God has abdicated the world to the Devil. Im ashamed and embarrassed to call myself religious. Im angry and disappointed with this God.


By anonymous at 11,Mar,12 01:26

who are you to know who God is? he is not like you - his ways are not like ours. He does not hate you and he never will. No matter what happens to you he cannot hate you. That statement says you don't know God because its a contradiction of who he is. I challenge you to talk to God for a few days, maybe even keep a journal, but really talk to him and tell him what you feel in your heart of hearts...lament to him. Say whatever you like, but make sure that you listen really closely as well: The message you'll recieve is: "I don't hate you, I love you, I want to show you the way, but you're so mad/sad/stuck/negative (I can't, I can't) that you don't hear me or see me." I pray that God encounters you in a personal way, and changes your heart so much that you start to find peace and happiness within yourself - where he placed it. Don't blame God for your choices: you must love youself first, no man will ever love you more and rgardless of where you came from, you can dictate where you go with faith. Faith gives you hope, it gives you something to dream of and it motivates you. If you've lost hope, find it again, start dreaming again. I believe that in your heart, you know you can: lose the weight, find happiness, forgive your family, forgive youself....just start now.


By M&M at 07,Apr,12 02:16

A few years ago after finishing breastfeeding my third son I decided to really, REALLY get in better shape. My husband who has bigger titts than me never cared to lose weight. Back then he rather eat a second dinner with me than to be intimate bc usually he is really lame in the sack, so I settled for snacks too! But then when the time came I had been waiting for I threw out all the things getting in my way. I made him his fried fucking chicken like he loved, BUT I always had a pan on the top just for me. Healthy lean meat, then a bit of healthy pasta, and vegetables. I only had about 15 lbs to lose, but I did it healthy and I was determined. You are 29, there is so much life ahead of you. Can you bring in some money some how? Or go to school?
By anonymous at 04,Sep,12 03:28

Her psych conditions require medicines that can cause alot of weight gain and she should be checked for hypothyroidism which can cause alot of weight gain but she can probably work on losing pounds still but the most important thing is to change her life including go to school . Next important thing is to realize God loves her not hates her and start treating herself as a person God loves and start treating herself as if she loves herself.


By M&M at 07,Apr,12 02:18

A simple healthy lifestyle is this, eat real, eat simple. Lean meats, vegetables and produce, cheese of the right portions, and healthy pasta that include fiber. Start creating a new life this very moment 8)


By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 22:28

I don`t think you realize this, but you are in charge of your life. You have so much potential. Seriously you do.


By anonymous at 23,Apr,12 21:40

If god exists (and there's no evidence of that) then He is infinite in all attributes ... which entails that He is not only capabable of hate, but capable of infinite hate.


By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 01:28

And my final comment to all of you who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


By anonymous at 27,Sep,12 22:46

haha i was literally listening to a song called god hates us when i stumbled upon this story


By anonymous at 28,Mar,13 18:30

she is right, god hates me too


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