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The boy with nothing much to say

Posted by Mustapha at February 24, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Childhood  2012 February  Relationship

I'm worthless. As long as I remember, I had nothing to live for. My old man even told me himself that I was a mistake, I wasn't planned. I was molested at the age of 5 by a prostitute that my father brought home with him. I was a fat kid throughout my childhood and teenage life. In fact I havent completely lost the entire weight. I never had friends and I was an emotional eater. Food became sanction agains the outside world. I never cared much for the ideals, Values, thoughts of other people. I was such an innocent young boy. But life wouldn't have it that way for long. Through years of systematic child abuse and negligence I've grown hateful and cynical. Until now. I'm 20 of age and I could care less if the entire world were to be engulfed in flames. In fact, I think I would love to set it afire myself. I hate everyone and everything. I have no friends, No family and no future. Im flunking in college as well. Cant't say that matters much now anyways. I dont intent to live very long. I'm still a virgin by the way and I never had a proper girlfriend or companion. The first woman that showed any interest in my life crushed my heart and left me bleeding at the sides. The second woman which also showed minute interest in my worthless existence just made out with another guy and completely crushed any hopes that we would be together. There...The grand scheme of my romantic life. The only 2 women in my entire life have completely destroyed my soul. That is to say, What's left of it. I often compare myself to Morrissey, Singer from The Smiths. In contrast watching him talking about his childhood....It's very reminiscent of my own. Funnily enough, I had an asexual phase too. That is probably from the hopelessness that my mind inhibits of knowing I can never really have someone to call my own. Strolling through parks after midnight that perhaps is the reason that keeps me going. It's a sort of perfect melancholy. Seeing all these happy couples holding hands merrily roaming the streets...It's a vicarious thing. Knowing all too well that I will never be this happy, It's almost a relief. As for now, I will go on and live the rest of my miserable life or what's remaining of it.

Farewell cruel world.


New Comment

By anonymous at 02,Mar,12 12:00

WE ARE EXACTLY IN THE SAME SITUATION. EXACTLY! Although I don't have any girl that came into my life so I'm worse.

By at 02,Mar,12 12:42

I don't understand why you can't get a girlfriend, you sound awesome. And you have great taste in music! The smiths are fantastic. I understand here you are coming from though, because I haven't had a proper boyfriend either. I have suffered from depression from a young age. You should really talk to your doctor to get on some antidepressants. I am sure your life will turn around. I really hope it does.

By anonymous at 02,Mar,12 17:57

please do not be suicidal!!! u are worth something and have always been worth something, u just didnt know it. God loves and cherishes u even if u dont think so. he will never leave u or forsake u.

By at 14,Apr,12 01:21

hey dont give up believe it or not god has a plan for u dont think everyones life has been peachy mine hasnt im a single mom its tough but i thank god for what i do have u knw im here if u need to talkl

By rinoleatheriges at 08,Dec,12 15:36

such subjective nizhpharmv rajme dangerous overall lorn regressions fowlers tata plagued

By Nike Roshe Run Woven at 11,Oct,14 16:57

la star des "4 Fantastiques" a posté une photo d'elle avec ce qui pourrait bien tre le secret de son teint radieux et de sa ligne fabuleuse. un altro passarci sopra il giorno prima della gara.

By Nike Blazer Canvas at 13,Oct,14 17:50

A photo of what is purported to be the

By Nike Air Force 180 Mid at 22,Oct,14 15:13

Il titolo del post ?provocatorio Questo spiega perch?il governo di Ankara ?dopo aver fatto la voce minacciosa con la Siria. domenica e festivi 12 - 20; luned?chiuso. abbiamo un appuntamento con la storia. le styliste a tenté comme il pouvait de se rattraper : "Ce n'est pas ce que je voulais dire ! Si ottiene subito il con? letti? Non vedo l’ora che mi chiamino e quando mi chiameranno ci andr?. ci sono tutti i presupposti per danni morali e non solo, Guarda:

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