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no fight left

Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012
Tags: Family  2012 February  Relationship

When I was 5 my parents got a divorce, I was left to live with my mother who was alcoholic and schitzophenic because my father had a vescetomy after my older brother. we lived off social security dissability and my mother frequently broke the bank for alcohol, cigarettes, and occassionally drugs, to include money i put in my piggy bank or received from other family for holidays. She was in a cult which she later became a senior member/leader of that taught that your elder in the cult was essentially god. so i was brainwashed at a young age not to tell others my problems and what happened to me was alright. This one time my dog died and i was told she had brought the wrath of god upon me as punishment for sneaking out to rollarblade with friends. i was a slave, cooking cleaning and building a house in the woods by the time i was 9 while my mother sat there drinking beer and occassionally throwing the bottles at me and insulting me.
i made it through high school with good grades and even became a captain of the football team despite having no one to take me to practice. my senior year i was finally fed up with my mother and poured a case of beer down the sink and told her that what she was doing was wrong. she left and i called an anonymous tip to the police that there was a drunk driver on the road. instead of going to get beer she went to the police station and reported that i was going to shoot everyone at my school. i was arrested and the only thing that saved my ass was the anonymous phonecall that collaborated my story.
i went to live at a friends house untill my high school graduation. at which my father greeted me with open arms after having his 4th child and relizing i was his.
after this i immediately went to college to not be a burden on my friend. i could not get any grants or loans because my mother wouldn't sign my fafsa. by the time i was emancipated i owed the college too much money to take anymore classes.
so i joined the navy. my father died after a year of being reunited with him and i fell in love with wife. i became a nuclear operator on a submarine and now work 100+ hour/ week when im not out to sea. my wife cheated on me constantly and took my daughter with her back home thousands of miles away and i cant even get a day off work to file for divorce.
I've fought all my life to make things better and i just realized that i dont have any fight left in me so this is the best it's going to get. in thirty or fourty more years i will die without ever having experienced a period of happiness or even content in my life.


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