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Where do I go from here

Posted by John at February 26, 2012
Tags: 2012 February  Mistakes  Money  Unemployment

I am 25, will be 26 in may...
As a high school student i was smart, A+ student...
went to university and thats where it all went down hill... started off as a med student... by my second semester i hated it, switched faculties... then i started missing classes for no reason, figured i cud still pass my exams, but i didnt... spent 4 years at university and still didnt have my degree and was asked to withdraw for a year, but i met a girl while "studying" and we got married... spent a year doin odd jobs then she divorced me, till i got a fairly good paying job at the power company... now two years down the road... i was told that in April my 3 year contract will be terminated.
With no other job prospects in sight, i have rent to pay, school loans to pay for a degree i never got, and a girlfriend that is cheating on me...
where do i go? who do i turn to for help?
Cant turn to God, because i really dont believe in that...
My thoughts right now are centered on suicide, just ending it all...
since finding out i will be unemployed come May, and nothing but a high school diploma no job will pay enough to cover all my expenses...
I've made mistakes in my life, alot of mistakes... so many regrets...
Just wish i could go back and undo them... probably shouldnt have quit medicine, or skipped classes, or partied as much as i did...
i'm gonna be 26 soon, and all my friends are employed, and moving forward... but here i am stuck and no idea what i'm gonna do...
easiest thing to do... hang myself... not like anyone wud really miss me... i've no family... a girlfriend that wont leave me cuz she feels guilty but she really wants too... got a couple friends... but then they dont really answer my calls or return them...
Just here all alone, in this dark hole...
should probably just go hang myself...


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Comments:
By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 01:58

Jesus can help as cliche as it sounds. I had a similar situation to yours and prayed for a path. Needless to say i received one and now surround myself with other good Christians. People don't believe because they don't see anything. What they don't understand is that if you put faith first and believe Jesus will redeem you, then you will see extraordinary changes in your life. Hope all goes well.
By anonymous at 05,Mar,12 02:44

it's called good luck and being in the right place at the right time. jesus and faith had nothing to do with it. praying never did a damn thing for me except further disappoint. sitting back and praying to something that doesn't exist will get you nowhere. you need to get up and start doing for yourself. life isn't gonna come and find you. you have to go and find it. thing's dont just happen you have to make it happen.


By at 04,Mar,12 09:51

What you are going threw is everyday life, this is what pepole face everyday. When your friends don't call you back maybe thief going threw the same stuff you are and your girlfriend send her down the road she's no good for you and last of all find something that makes you happy. Say a prayer every now and then it does help. Hang in there Ops bad choice off words. Laugh it feels good.


By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 11:05

Dear John,

Hi, I feel like I am going through the same thing you are. Even though the situation and circumstances are different, still the feeling of worthlessness and nothingness is the same. At this moment I feel like giving up... but somehow I just keep telling myself tomorrow is going to be better. I say this to myself every day. I pray, I talk to myself... cause me is all I have at this moment. Life all can't be downhill, someday; oneday life will seem brighter better. All we got to do is tough the storm now, encourage ourselves and believe in a better tomorrow.


By anonymous at 04,Mar,12 15:03

dont kill ur self im sure someone would miss u


By anonymous at 05,Mar,12 00:12

Damn... I hope you're alright. I don't think that is the answer. Surely you can get yourself out of that rut if you just give it a try. I'd give it some time. I feel like this often,and then the next day or so, I feel better and sometimes forget why I was feeling so down.


By anonymous at 05,Mar,12 02:36

there are other jobs out there that pay pretty good and you dont need a degree or hell even a high school diploma to get. Ya just have to not be a lazy bastard and look for it and do it. apparently medicine wasn't for you or else you would have completed it and honestly the way you sound about the whole thing Im glad you're not a doctor and more importantly Im glad you're not any doctor of mine...thank you very much for that. and as for as a failed marriage...at least you got out of it. Im stuckin mine with 2 kids and dont see myself getting away any time soon. As for as your gf...leave her. I mean unless hoping that you dont wind up with an std every time you go to bone her works for you. If you're so worried about paying for your failed education file for bankruptcy. So you might have to move back in with your parents or some so called friends for a while at least it will wipe your slate clean and you wont have bad credit forever. a long time but not forever and it couldn't be any worse than what you've got going for you now. believe me I would trade with you in a heart beat. I cant afford to live and Im not allowed to die. I think about death everyday but I cant do it. I am so far beyond trapped. I cant even begin to go into all of my shit. If I find some kind of worm hole that can take me back a good 13 years or so I'll let you know and if you find it first you better let me know


By Nilesh at 10,Dec,15 19:29

Hi there,Happy New Year!! I have been following your blog for about 6 motnhs, even since I stumbled upon it quite accidently while I was looking for some breastfeeding tips. I want to thank you for your advice, it helped us to overcome a huge hurdle and now I am happy to say that I am still successfully breastfeeding our 8 month old. You’ think that after 2, the third would be a breeze but they are all different!The concept of a Soapbox is a brilliant one, I think and as such I'd like to have a rant if I may:WHY ARE KIDS' TOYS WRAPPED SO TIGTHLY WITH LOTS OF SECURE PACKAGING, SOME REQUIRING YOU TO GET OUT A TOOL KIT??!Having just been through Xmas with 3 kids under 5 and a handful of relative's kids, this nightmare is still fresh in my mind. On Xmas day, my clearest memory is unwrapping lots of packages for the kids (and how lucky are we to have all this stuff??!) with some pretty complicated packaging from some toy manufacturers. The packaging serves a purpose of protecting the product during its transit but most of them are total overkill.Don’t get me wrong, I know how lucky I am to be able to afford all this stuff and some people that cannot would look at this post and say …” boohoo, poor little you, unwrapping all those presents you spoilt brat…”I think I know the reason behind all this packaging…marketing! I am not blaming marketing BUT…the aim of the game of a product is to take as little space on the shelf but be as prominent as possible to maximise its chance of being sold. Sounds like a contradiction doesn’t it? That is why a lot of marketing money is invested in finding the “best” packaging solution for a product therefore leading to this packaging madness. It’s all about making the most money possible at the expense of resource depletion. And how do I know this?? I work in advertising!No wonder our Mother Earth is drowning in pollution I am reminded of our society’s wasteful ways every time there is a toy to be unwrapped. Is it really necessary to screw in the packaging for a kids pretend cash register?? Is the toy going to escape?Ahhhhhhhh…it felt good to get it off my chest! Thank you Superdad for the opportunity to rant. Keep up the great work and “I will be back”.


By Gertrude at 25,May,16 01:20

My 15 yr old son fits this description, Ritalin or stimulants have been ineffective & made him edgy. He’s on Depakote for mood disorder & this helps to stabilize mood just a bit, but the hyraceptivity a real problem still.How would I know if he is FXS child? he was adopted.Thnx for your work. I have been following you for many years.When is the PBS program on on in Boston?


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