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Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
Tags: 2012 February  Sexuality

TO start off, i am gay. And its something i struggled with my whole life being brought up in a christian family. My life seemed to be going great when i was young though.(popular, good looking, did well in school) but at the time i was denying myself. Eventually i started to want a relationship and in high school i started to realize who i was,a gay guy. i also started dressing more fem and becuase of it i felt i was starting to get treated as an outcast, i had a hard time making friends,and my family as a whole treated me like i was some freak. When i started to go through puberty i pretty much lost my looks and my confidence along with it. Its hard to keep any when your own mom calls you ugly. EVen though she takes care of me(food and housing), my mom has never treated me that well personally. and my dad is pretty much gone and moved away.

Now in the present, i hav started dressing more masculine adn i feel good looking once again. I also have come out to everyone except ym dad since he is not around, and i have no shame about it. But even now, i get treated differently. as if people know im gay so they avoid me/dont really bother with me. I have tried finding other gay people but its hard since they are a minority. Had 1 bf in the past, didnt last long. And everytime i try to get into a relationship with someone im attracted to i get shot down, and i really dont understand why. plenty of guys adn girls like me and fidn me attractive but the ones i like never do. My good friends are more concerned with thier bfs and dont havv time for me, which is understandable but sux. When it comes to making new friends, straight guys seem scared of me knowing im gay and girls r always in relationships. SO i really feel alone all the time. like if i died now no one would give 2 shits. anyway,the one person i can say i have is my brother but he is working a lot with plenty of his own problems. im currently unemploywed and tired of working for bad minumum wage jobs.everytime i get motivated to get a career, sumthing or someone like my mom brings me down and acts liek i wotn make it...seems like the list of problems goes on. I would really like sumthing to look foward to. but feel like ive lost hope.... like ill be in this endless cycle of gettign nowher for eternity. what can i use to motivate me and pull myself together?


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Comments:
By anonymous at 06,Mar,12 09:36

you can use the fact that you are alive and healthy, life is a bitch just read some of the storys on this site. If you are living at home and not paying rent get a bullshit job save your money for a couple of months and move to a town that is more gay friendly like san fransisco or austin or new york or miami. Their is a place for everyone, life is short and it will be over before you know it. It took me a long time to find my place in life, but I'm gay and loveing life since I moved to san fransisco. The world is what you make it.


By anonymous at 07,Mar,12 22:09

Hello friend! let me start by saying you will be fine...to be frank with you you need to just do little things that allow you to be happy. something as simnple as washing yor face or taking a walk and enjoying the process....I have friend that made me realize that when you do anything it is all about the procss....if you cant be in the moment then yo have go stop nd analyze why....i can say that until you STOP with the pitty party you wont e happy even if you have a relationship with another man. my point being that you have to love yourself then all other things will follow.
another thing that I would like to reccomend are the powerful words, "this doesnt work for me" I know it's easy for a complete stanger to give an opinion but i feel compelled to remind you, YOU control how you react to things. Be proud, get focused and lead your destiny....
Sincerely,
JES Gay guy too ! :)


By anonymous at 10,Mar,12 19:56

thnx jes and other dude. i know im a big pitty party haha. just sumtimes life feels hard. but u guys gave really good advice. id luv to move to san franscisco or north hollywood, one of these days i will get the money.btw, i wanted to know what career/job do u guys work in? do you know any jobs that more gay people work in. besides hair dresser/fashion design?


By anonymous at 16,Mar,12 16:39

Dude, Try to fuck some pussy.... I mean find you a bitch that has got some CADILLAC PUSSY.... How the fuck can you bang a dude in the ass anyway??? FUCK....


By anonymous at 21,Sep,12 05:15

lmao ive actually done some stuff with girls but never got to full on sex. I just prefer guys. and doing a guy in the butt isnt that different from doing a vagina(a hole is a hole?). Even straight guys do their chicks in the butt sometimes lol.


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