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An epic failure of a human being.

Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Failure  2012 February

I don't wanna bore you with another long and drawn out story with far too much background details, so I'll just concisely sum up where I'm at in my life right now -- 20 year old friendless virgin with a useless, broken dick (irreversible scar tissue damage from jerking off too quick/gripping too hard), 6'3" and a half, 140 pounds, yet I still have fat rolls and love handles (skinny fat guy), never kissed/hugged/dated/spoken to a girl before and I've dropped out of school. I've had Social Anxiety Disorder since I was a kid, too.

I only own one pair of jeans 'cause I'm too poor to afford more. I've never owned a cellphone or much of anything else, either. My parents are on welfare and my dad is a crazy and abusive religious nutcase who's also a misogynist and believes women are worthless, when he indeed is the most worthless and useless piece of shit in the cosmos. Haven't left the house in 5 months and don't plan to anytime soon.

I never had many friends growing up or at school and I did my best to keep them around. That included buying them lunch with the little money I had, even if that meant I'd starve most of the time. I always did little things like that, but they've all forgotten about me. I haven't spoke to any of them in years, and in feeling alone, I hit up some Internet chat-rooms, met some girls and felt human again.

After seeing a picture or two of 'em, it became pretty evident that they were vapid, impressionable and insecure high school girls. A blonde cheerleader, to be exact. She only dates jocks and would puke if she knew who was on the other side of the screen, but hell, she's just gone ahead and presumed I'm an alpha-male and threatens to fall into bouts of depression if I don't talk to her 5-6 hours a day. Through trying to cure my loneliness, I only added to my problems.

The cherry on the top is that my parents aren't originally from the US, and they plan on moving back to their country and living the rest of their days there. Although I understand the language, I can't speak it. It's a shitty old place in a shitty old village where hot water is as rare as gold -- and that's the place where I'm gonna be living for the rest of my life.


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Similar Entries:
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Not Perfect April 8, 2012
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Comments:
By anonymous at 06,Mar,12 00:26

why aren't you going to college? you say you dropped? why????? do you have any siblings? do you plan on going back to that country with your parents? time to plan it out. i don't think you want to go back. maybe think about leaving the house and getting yourself together. and getting a job. it will be worse there than it is here. at least you have hot running water here and you speak the language. do you have no other family you can stay with here?

i don't think being 140 pounds at 6'3 is anything FAT. if anything you are very underweight for your height. you really need to gain weight. have protein, work out. why are you just sitting around for 5 months in your house and doing NOTHING? you are wasting away your life. you need to go back to college and get some meds for you social anxiety. that may be the root of all your problems and why you refuse to leave the house. you really need to prioritize. you're making bad choices here.


By crorkz at 15,Jan,15 18:47

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