It wasn't enough that I had to grow up in the worst fucking era of the world, try the Soviet Union; Ukraine to be exact. In a small decrepit village so close to Russia you can hear the artillery in the backdrop and the marching of soldiers in their boots.
It wasn't enough that my brother and I risked dying of dehydration, starvation almost every day from our youth to our late teens. It wasn't enough to beat, steal, lie & cheat everything and from everyone just to get by.
It wasn't enough to get my teeth bashed in by the butt of a rifle just because I gave a "Peacekeeper" a smirk after he said something (this was by the way the only way I could communicate. I didn't learn how to read or write until I was almost 8 years old). It wasn't enough that I had the same pair of fucking clothes for almost a decade.
It wasn't enough was it? I finally get the fuck out of the worst place in the world, with a smile on my face for once. I try to start over, with someone who shares the same ideals, the same strengths, and weaknessess here in the North. I do everything in my power to give them a good life here.
I work, I clean, I love, I cry, I fail, I succeed. All of these things were just a simple prelude to this.
It wasn't enough to lose my job in hopes of getting a better job, it wasn't enough that the job was so fucking easy but they let me go on an error by their company. It wasn't enough that this area has no fucking jobs in walking distance or reasonable driving distance.
It wasn't enough to give our apartment management every last bit of money to keep our apartment. It wasn't enough to apply for a cheaper apartment, but to get cold calls when you try to contact them on the status.
It wasn't enough to have a fucking eviction notice posted on my door even after paying.. It wasn't enough that none of her nor my friends give a fucking shit enough to help us move anything.
It wasn't enough to in an instant lose every god damn thing I've worked for.
It wasn't enough that soon we'll be living in our car. It wasn't enough that they might repossess our car because we decided to pay for the apartment for a month over the car payments.
Now, I'm just wondering..
When will it be enough? When will I've finally had enough of it all?