I used to think that I was good at being alone and single, but recently I recovered from a spinal fusion surgery (I broke my neck doing acrobatics) and am back to living a normal life after 3 months. The problem is I now realize after staying home for 3 months that I HATE being alone. I'm always the "single guy" even though people always compliment me on my looks and say I'm a great guy. But it's just that I guess I'm sort of a reacher. I go for a girl and they never, ever want to settle for me or get to know me. It sucks. I realized that all of my friends have girlfriends now and I don't. It's been so long since I've been in any kind of relationship and for some reason I just CANNOT seem to get involved with any girl no matter how hard I try. Then when I don't try and go with the flow, nothing happens. It's like a curse.. And I'm so stressed out because at my job there's a lot of beautiful coworkers but I just get this feeling (based on past experiences) that none of them would ever date me.
In the past year a lot of my friends changed and grew apart. We're all in college but they're always busy with their own lives and sometimes I wish we could all be cool with each other like old times. I thought that coming back from a broken neck injury recovered would turn out nicely.. But I've never felt more lonely in my whole life. I guess I just really want a relationship and someoneone sides family to legitimately care about me for once. | |
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I too am scared in approaching people that I find attractive and that's just because usually they never want to settle down. I get asked all the time why I'm single... if it's because I push people away? because I'm extremely busy.
And a part of me enjoys being busy so I don't feel so lonely... when I come home, I'm exhausted and I just pass out. I'm always active in the community so I am always around people but when I do find people that I have an interest in- it just never goes away, they pull away... not me.
It's ironic how when I don't try though, they all come back. But I'm tired of trying when they aren't even trying. They only seem interested when I quit talking to them or just don't care anymore about their daily lives.
So maybe even though it's hard to see everyone else around you with someone else, life isn't always about that "settle down relationship", it's also about family and friend relationships but most important, the relationship you have with yourself..
So just do what I do... focus on yourself and what you can do for yourself now... enjoy the alone time you have even though it sucks at times... someone will be more than happy to settle down with you- no reason to rush it.
You should be grateful that your family cares for you. That's something some people don't have. I've rarely had family support my entire life so take it from me, enjoy that for me. It'll get better... I know a lot of people say that.. but look to now to something horrible in the past... or a time that you thought it wouldn't get better... but it did, didn't it? So it will get better again. Time always helps.
Christina
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