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I am sorry you had to deal with it all at once .Know there are support groups out there for both things.Took a long time for my ex to except herself after the fact and the changes that it caused. She saw things I believe I didn't even see and would down herself for and would make me feel bad because I never saw it in her.
Just remember too take care of yourself and your situation and there are others like you having to deal with same situations don't be afraid to find them and seek advice or support .
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