I am constantly sad. I am constantly in pain, physically and emotionally. My body is always sore. I have trouble sleeping, yet am constantly tired. I am alone. I have had 2 relationships in my 18 year life. The longest one was a month. Girls never seem to like me. It is because I am not an attractive douche. I am tired of always being the last option to girls. I am always just the friend. I am always too good of a friend to date. This fact just makes me wonder what is wrong with me. I am normal, for the most part. I have confidence issues because of years and years of rejection. That is mainly the only thing that makes me different to most people. I don't even feel like I have a heart anymore. It has been crushed by girlfriends and friends alike. I feel like all that is left is a piece, the size of a dime, and I cannot give that dime to anyone, in fear that I will lose it. Whenever I am capable of sleeping it is usually because I cry myself to sleep. I am so unhappy. I always wonder why it is that my life sucks. While I know people with beautiful girlfriends and tons of friends and are popular. Why can't that be me? I hate having to sit by and watch as some of my best girl friends (who I love) date asshole after asshole after asshole. And then I am always there as a shoulder to cry on. Then, I am told that I am such a sweetheart and such a great guy. Then, they turn around and date another asshole. Why? What is so wrong with me? I know I am not attractive, but looks are not that fucking important. I am just so sick of it. I want to feel loved, wanted, and respected. I want to actually live. | |
Try some medication. Your depression could improve with a little help. I poo-pooed the anti-depression drugs but when my boyfriend of six years kicked me to the curb, I thought that I was seriously going to kill myself. I cried, like you, only more. It got so bad, the wailing and sleeping, and zombie-like behavior, that I finally bit the bullet and went to a doctor. They prescribed me Paxil. There are others. You may need to bounce around until you find just the right one...
As for the girlfriend thing. Yep. Good guys finish last. Maybe if you could impersonate some of your girlfriend's asshole boyfriends, then you might get some action. Don't answer their phone calls. Act like your busy. Pretend that you have a gal- that always makes them jealous... and if that doesn't work, then get a pet. Dogs rule. Girls just giggle and sometimes drool. Good luck!
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