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I am ugly with face skin body

Posted by anonymous at March 4, 2012
Tags: Attitude  General  2012 March

I'm a male, 22. And this is my problem. 

Face. I'm asian so my face is really bad and out of proportion. What facial feature should be big or small, I have the opposite of it. I have small heavy and drooping eyes. It makes me so lazy, I'm not talking about monolids. My eyes just always look tired and lazy or angry. My nose has wide alar and a bulbous tip, it makes me look like a pig with my 2 nostrils somewhat upward. And My lips are so thick. It looks like they are swollen and they are not shaped perfectly. And since I'm an Asian, my face has no prominent facial bones so I am left with a big round face with fat cheeks and double chin. No cheek bones, no jaw line, no chin, no eye bone. I feel like with this face, I'm destined to be alone with life. And it's true, I'm only 22, I have twitter Facebook and cellphone and no one mentions to me and no one texts to me. I'm neglected and forgotten or simply irrelevant. It's as if I don't exist. 

Skin. (acne) Aside that I'm ugly, god really made my life hell with acne. I have some pimple since I was 6, a few small ones, but when I reached 13, its a full blown acne. Every inch of my face and body is acne prone. I can get acne anywhere. I have severe cystic acne on my face, chest, neck, nape, scalp, back arms, back, and legs. I've tried every medication but it didn't do anything. I tried oral and topical antibiotics, salysilic acid, benzoyl peroxide, tretinoin, and accutane. I tried diet and exercise but none is effective. My face gets so red when it's hot.  Its hereditary, my dad and mom has some form and degree of acne and i got them both so its the worst. Aside from acne, my skin is covered with large pores, long hairs, comedones, deep scars, acne spots. And It really made my life sedentary. I can't go out with friends, I don't take pictures with friends. So if my classmates are having fun  taking pictures they would include me but it annoys me because I don't want my acne to be documented. I feel like I don't want to get married and have kids because I have bad genes and acne genes are dominant so it will make my children have it too. (hair) my face is covered with long hairs, I don't know why. And I have a mustache and a beard which I shave closely and it irritates my skin. It's hard to look clean with my facial hair and there's nothing I can do about it. 

Body. I have a very disproportionate body. I have a big stomach around 45 inches and my arms and legs are tiny. My biceps are only 13 and my legs are 24. I have been working out for three years and I still look the same. Why can't god spare me with anything? He didn't leave me anything to work with. And with these body, it's hard to dress good and look good. It's even harder to get your clothes siZe. I need to get large tshirt because it has to fit my stomach but the sleeves on my tshirt are too big since I have small arms. The same goes to pants, I wear size 43 pants and it doesn't fit the legs and it's so loose. I look terrible in clothes and look so lousy. I've tried diet, whey, fat burner, AB crunches squat dead lift biceps curl tricep kickback. I'm just stuck with an unsightly disproportionate body. I'm 5'10 so it's hard to go unnoticed when you go to public. I'm so embarrassed of my face skin and body. No matter how hard I try I can't have that model body I so desire. 

Hair. I hate my hair, it gets so stinky even after I shower and shampoo. I live in a very hot and humid country so it makes it worst. I can't have the latest trend in hair because hair wax doesn't hold my hair. My hair is very unruly dry coarse damaged, and I have the worst dandruff. Even if I brush my hair with my hands, I see particles being fluffed. It's so hard to look presentable and clean no matter what I do. 

Teeth. I have yellow teeth and I need a brace but I can't afford it nor I have time for it. I hate my smile because my lips are so thick it looks disgusting. 

Poor. I am not poor-poor but I can't afford dermatological and surgical services to beautify me. It will waste my family's fortune and that can't happen and I don't think they will support me if they want to because normal teenagers don't get surgery they are just for celebrities. Dermatological services are never cheap I've tried some but can't afford to maintain it. And cleaning makes my face worse because of the scars and the redness after. 

Brains. I'm stupid. I hate math and science so when college came, I have to choose the course with the least math and science. So I ended up in journalism. I'm not good in writing articles. I have bad grammar. The least I can do is to study hard so that I can earn a lot and afford plastic surgery but journalism??? It's a tough job and the pay is terrible. So those surgeries will not really come by. 

Gay. I'm not finished yet, and God really cursed me. He hated me. I am gay and I can't tell my family. WTF!! Can someone have so many problems like I do? I'm gay! I can't have fun because I'm gay and I can't be out. I can't get a date with boys because of my looks. I look ugly as a boy or girl. Being gay is so hard. I don't know if god made me gay or I chose to be gay. I know god hates unnatural sex like the sodomites wherein he rained the city with brimstones. I haven't had sex with boys I don't have a boyfriend. 

Envy. I envy those perfect guys I see at the malls or gym. Fair clear skin, nice hair, muscular body, rich and smart. They are perfect. They have fun with girls or boys. Everyone likes them. Everyone is nice to them. They are successful in everything. 

Attitude. I have a bad attitude. I don't know. At school I don't get bullied because I am a bully or a bvtch. I don't let people bully me. I fight back. But Even though I don't get bullied, I'm still a loser. They say attitude is important and that's what people love in you, not physical Beauty. But in my case, I have an ugly face and personality and I can't do anything about it. How can you feel good and be good when you don't look good? 

Small. Yeah, since I'm an Asian, I have a small ****. But how come I'm extra small? 

Suicide. I can't commit suicide even though I want to because I'm scared and it might get me extra ugly if I was unsuccessful with it. Like if I cut my wrist and survived, I might damage my ligaments and forever unable to move my hands and an additional scar on my skin. I think I might do a crime with death as penalty. 

BS. There are a lot of people here who are going to try to help by saying have a new hair style, dress nicely, be clean, nice attitude, or pray to God. Given with all my problems that doesn't help. Because styling my hair, dressing nicely, nice attitude and being clean are my problem. God just didn't give me a way out to be happy. 

In my life, I'm going to be UGLY, UNLOVED, FORGOTTEN, UNNOTICED, and UNSUCCESSFUL and that's because of how I look. If god has mercy or if any of you pity me, please pray to god to take away my life because I don't want this. There are many people who don't want to die but die each day, so take me instead. This is no life, this is hell in earth. I'm cursed I'm doomed. There is nothing I can do. It's as if I chose this life, I'm UNHAPPY!


Votes:


Similar Entries:
I'm ugly I want to die  January 19, 2012
Ugly sad and depressed.  March 14, 2012
Constant pain November 28, 2010
My Body February 22, 2012
Am I ugly? April 14, 2012



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 16:15

I only see one problem here. The mention of god. Seriously? god doesnt even exist. You only feel suicidal because you think, there is an afterlife. there is none. you only have one life, one chance to make the most of it.
And your worried about your looks? look up body dysmorphic disorder, and you may be able to relate.
Educate yourself, be strong, youre worth more than you are giving yourself. Be good to yourself and dont give two shits about what anyone, or what "god" thinks. Do it all for you.
By anonymous at 23,Mar,12 23:47

wow, I'm tired of you and people like you who tells says things like this. you've never experienced it and you think you know all about it and you downplay -- YOU FUCKING DOWNPLAY IT. You have obviously never felt what it's like to be alone, to know that you are inferior, to know that others consider you as inferior, to know that they will never open their doors to you, to know that the people who open the doors for you in life are non-existant. You don't have that knowledge that you'll be forever alone, always tugging at the back of your head. You have never experienced being discriminated against just because you were ugly. It's like a white man freeing the slaves and then the next day asking "why are you so poor?"


By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 17:02

I don't know. You can't be as bad as you make yourself out to be. In any case, it's not what's on the outside, it's what's inside. Cliche, I know, but it's true.
I have found a few stereotypes to be true:
1. The more money people have, the bigger the asshole they are
2. The beautiful people in college or high school ended up in car accidents, partying too much, or some other crazy stuff happened to them.
People who are good looking know it. They survive off of it as long as they can. But eventually, as we age, our beauty fades. And then we are just stuck with who we are on the inside. I've also found that the better looking the people are, the less they have for personality, humor, wit, gregariousness, kindness, generosity, ect. They have never had to struggle like you and I. Things were handed to them because of their looks. Doors opened career wise because of how they looked. It's all scientifically proven. So, with that said- screw em!
You are awesome. And don't you forget it. You're awesome because when push comes to shove, you can handle the shit when it hits the fan. Prissy missy and mr. perfect wont. People who have it harder, end up the winners because they know what it's like to struggle.
As for your acne, I would suggest Proactive. I see commercials all the time on tv for it, and I know people who have used the product with success. Anyhow, keep strong. Have focus. Focus on other things other than looks. Looks are fleeting and narcissistic. Dig deep to find what brings you joy... Animals, sports, cars, books, computers, internet chat rooms, walking on the beach, staring at the stars.... and at some point, someone will come into your life (if you are positive) and the two of you will be happy:)


By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 18:36

hey, cheer up! It cannot be that bad! My dad used to say that a man should be just a bit better looking than the devil, everything else is important but not the looks :))).
Acnee! My son had acne, real bad, so I done some reaserch and found out vitamins help! They helped him too. If he stops even for 3 days, acne is quick to come back! Try! It might help you too, first visible results come after a month though.
Good luck!
I hope this helps!


By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 22:39

first off, STOP BEING A TOOL AND BUYING INTO POP CULTURE. your problem is not that you are ugly cuz you are NOT ugly. your problem is having an inferiority complex about being asian. you said "asians have small d****?" talk about stereotyping.

i can totally fix your problems with acne. it's all in your DIET. stop eating sugar, chocolate, spicy foods and nuts. drink WATER AND ONLY WATER. best thing you can do for your body and skin. you have yellow teeth? who doesn't? that's SOOO easy to fix. again, drink water and don't drink sodas, coffee and juices that will stain your teeth. if you really have to drink it, drink through a straw. there are so many home made and cheap remedies for whitening your teeth. baking soda. salt. strawberries.

most of your problems stem from having an inferiority complex and feeling self conscious about your looks. and these are all typical teenage and young adult feelings that are blown out of proportion. there are very few people who do not go through that stage of hating their looks or something about themselves. you are just taking it to an extra extreme and may have some body dysmorphic issues. it's all in your head. you're not ugly at all.


By anonymous at 08,Mar,12 23:55

You may be trying acne medication,
but have you had your hormones checked?
Hormones can cause many changes in your
features and skin. Go to your doctor & request
for your hormones to be tested then go from
there. My brother did that & it changed him...


By anonymous at 29,May,12 23:01

Im 29 and I struggle w acne and body acne too. Im learning a lot of it is diet. I struggle with liking bad sugary fried foods. I used to be popular in 7th grade and then 8th grade my acne popped up and I let it erode my self esteem. I realize now too a lot of it is my food, when I eat bad foods it makes me feel gluttonous(the worst feeling in the world, bar none.) and makes my skin worse too. I got sober a couple years ago and I started craving bad foods with a vengeance, I guess bc I couldn't drink or do drugs anymore. You know now, Im actually attracted to people considered "unattractive by magazine standards than the ones that are, bc I have a lot in common with them, and they have good hearts, disillusioned most, but thats bc they have dealt with a lot of pain. So their hearts are strong. Ive thought about killing myself too..but Im a Buddhist so I believe in my heart I would just have to come right back and deal with the same stuff if not worse bc I made a mess of leaving when I could have stayed and made the most of it. Stay strong, you are not alone. And even though I cant see you, I feel you are beautiful to me. I will keep you in my prayers for a prosperous life. Namaste.


By anonymous at 29,May,12 23:22

I have more to say...oh and the whole thing about Asians and small d****s, its not the size honey, its all about the motion of the ocean. Trust me. Ive been with a couple small guys and most were of my best. Im also bi. And everyone knows Asians are smart, I picked their religion for Christs sake, pun intended. And my body is disproportionate too, I gain all my weight in my thighs and arms, ugh. You are not alone friend, Im like you, I feel all the same things you feel too, except Im in cosmetology school, which makes me feel like a way bigger loser than you especially since im 7 years older than you, but I can't keep comparing or beating myself up for not having a college degree, it was hard to come by for me due to circumstances of this life I have co-created. It gets better if you really want it to and work for it to the best of your ability. I hope you have a good night. Light & love.


By anonymous at 10,Jun,12 12:01

I'd still do you.


By anonymous at 26,Jun,12 00:09

Okay, well dedicate your life to finding someone who can elevate your genepool. If you find someone whose features could produce children with better physical aesthetics than you, and live a better life than you have... Then you are already one step further. Get over yourself and dedicate this lifetime to recreating the gene pool. You obviously didnt have the privledge of having a lifetime to spend on yourself in vain... So sad. Welcome to the real world. Wit ya vain ass


By anonymous at 02,Aug,12 08:46

Uhmmmn...
IDK if God really exist in your world...
If God has cursed you...you think you'd be able to type this very emotional yet negative thoughts on this page?

You should be happy that you have hands,man..
..
Being ugly is not a curse, and you aren't ugly, you're just born not having the good looks.

I know it's hard to handle and feel insecurity every now and then( coz I've been there),but if you really think that you are ugly,make your attitude and personality be beautiful as always instead..


By anonymous at 07,Sep,12 02:32

Honestly all i havr to say is stop fucking feeling sorry for yourself, sitting here typing about how shit your life is, honestly if your not gona do anything about it then no one will. You cant expect to sit here and hope that a miracle will happen and that your life is going to suddenly be perfect because guess what, its not! So shut up stop feeling sorry for yourself and go enjoy life and stop giving a shit about what people think , to expect people to love you, you firstly need to love yourself. Oh and one more thing.... YOLO!!!!!!!!


By anonymous at 01,Oct,12 13:12

Sorry, i think i know how u feel, i am asian, gay, and definitely not the best looking person i've seen. Although i feel down sometimes, i think u dont have to use your body as to secure someone's love for u. And pls dont feel like u have to deal with all the problems at the same time. One at a time is just fine. Maybe spend 6 months just working on the teeth. Read about fashion and how o dress better with what u have, believe me models have to learn how to take care of themselves too, they are not just born with it. Acne is hard and takes more time so maybe u can whine about it, but the rest even attitude u can definitely improve. And change attitude with one thing first then another, u cant just wake up and become the best. Theres nothing wrong with being gay or being asian, really, dont discriminate against urself. Goodluck


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