The longest relationship I have ever been in started when I was 13 with a woman about twice my age. We were in a relationship for a few years, until our relationship was "discovered" and she went to prison. We had a child together, who I have not seen since she went away. He is seven now.
I also have to add that I am a gay male. The whole time I was with her, I knew this, but had deep insecurities about it because of all the harassment I had encountered because people accused me of being gay. I "came out" of the closet at 17 and have been searching for someone ever since. I have had one relationship with a guy that turned out to be only sexual and went on for a few years. I have been deeply in need of someone that I can count on in a sexual as well emotional manner. I have spent so many nights literally crying myself to sleep, and pathetically imagining that that person is laying beside me. I hate it. I hate life so much sometimes! I have been told my countless people that I am good looking, that the "right person will come along", etc. etc. I am 23 years old, and am the only one of my friends who have not been in a serious relationship. I used to live in a small town, there were hardly any gay guys but i seemed to be the only one that didn't have someone. I have recently moved to a bigger city, which i thought would help. I actually met a guy who is seriously everything I could ever hope for in a guy. We spent an amazing night together talking, drinking and sleeping next to eachother. That was over a month ago. I have invited him to do things many times since then. He always acts like he is interested, but then when it comes down to it he doesn't come or something came up. It really devastates me to be shown a glimpse of what is possible, only to have it fly away like dust in the air. I hate it. I would have rather never met him. He acted so interested in me, but I guess it was just a front. I don't know what to do. I am so sick of being alone, but so scared to put my heart out there because deep down i feel like i know it will just be stomped on. I HATE BEING ALONE