i am 22.havent got any real friends.our college class is divided into 2 groups that hate eachother.all laugh and chat but when one turns backs others start bitching about him/her.this thing happens in cycles and i have ended up hating them all.teachers only favour and help those who take private tutions.(i dont,cant pay).and verbally abuse and discriminate against the rest.others take it as a part of life.i cant do that(dont know why).they are better off i guess.this self-dignity bitch is like a torture tool. i am tired of humiliation.things get worse in practical lab classes when i sit in front of a computer like a fool while the teacher helps out the private tution morons first and pretend not to hear when i call her.public insult does greater damage than getting beat up.cant change college or complain to anyone,the principal is in their pocket.nobody listens.mums dead.dad thinks i m making a big deal of it.never had a boyfriend.never been kissed.never been loved(except mum).i m fat(not from over-eating,its genetic, got it from me mum,stubborn cellulite on hips,thighs),ugly(i hate my nose,lips),broad-shouldered,tall,intimidating-looking.the kind that people usually make an idea as rude,powerful,butchy girl.i think my body language,walk,talk and everything else put together somehow forms a combination that repels people.been terribly lonely since mum.havent had a hug from somebody in 4 years.i sincerely wish i were dead.cant kill myself.mum did that when i was 18.she was sick ,suffering,couldnt take it anymore.i came back from school one monday to find her hanging from a hook in the ceiling.i cant bring myself to do it what that scene did to me.i dont blame the world or something for not liking me.maybe i wouldnt like me too if it were me.i have accepted the simple truth that has been screaming out at me all this time...i was always meant to suffer...i was always meant to suffer... | |
are you fucking serious? if it did happen and if u did witness this....
thats bad....
i mean this is the worst story i have read on this site...
May God grant you and your mother paradise..
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