i'm 20, since birth I always depend on my mom and i'm not so close with my dad.. just four days before my 19th birthday my mom died.. wtf? right?...First thought that comes to on my mind is to have a suicide.. because i felt guilty of her death...and now that shes gone i felt so alone i don't have so many friends ...
. I tried to get a private scholarship and put all my effort to them to give it. and they promised to give to me but until now i'm still waiting for it . And knew that they wont give it.I feel angry and hopeless about it because it's the only key so I can continue studying in college. So now I Stopped and just one year before I graduate....damned it!!!...Now I tried to find a job but still again I FAILED....And I've tried to get some help with my friends but they've rejected me.
Now I lived with my dad and we cant get along together because we were not so close and we fight often...I really want to leave and have a private life but because of financial problems I cant...and can't even talk to someone... | |
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My relationship with my dad has never been good and became absolutely worse when she died. I think my dad had a worse time dealing with this than my brothers and me. You could tell all he wanted to do is leave us and deal with his pain by himself, but he didn't. We all stuck together as miserable as we were.
It's been many years now and I'm pretty much over the grief, as are the rest of my family. Life goes on or should I say limps on. My relationship with my dad is still bad and I doubt for me it will ever improve. But if you love your mom I would remember her and focus on the good things about her. Live your life with the idea of wanting to make her proud. Think of her and the advice she used to say especially when you are feeling down, and that will give you strength to keep going. It helped for me.
I really feel badly for you and the loss of your mom. take care.
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