where do I start ever since I can remember I wondered why my Dad treated me like he did, with no love and different from my Siblings when I was 14 my mother picked up the Phone and was having an Argument with him about something I heard my name mentioned and picked up the other line then I heard it im not helping him as he is no son of mine , and it the all made sense why I was treated this way , have no Idea why he thought this so Basically I felt like a Bastard child , after this I had an Operation to put a testicle back down from my stomach to my Scrotum somehow someone from school found out about this and my life at school became a living hell I was quite a small child and for a boy I guess too Pretty , the bullying was intense to the point of Sexual Assault was stripped down at Physical education by bullies and they bascically physically tried to see if I had two Nuts they would also do this in hallways and common areas even some evil Girls got in on the act , I never really got any councelling for this and its affected me all my life , I have always been a good kind person to everyone and treated everyone equally , I have had many girlfriends but never really been able to commit fully because of the feelings I have of my Identity in this world I eventually met a Lovely girl who I adored she eventually got pregnant and but we lost the child late in the pregnancy, she left me to return home to her family and I didnt follow I have never made the right life choices I eventually ended up in a Job where was used to the point of working too many hours , all these things in the past came back to haunt I guess it took 40 years for me to Break , I started over dosing on Anti Depressents which caused servere psychological problems I basically gave myself schitzophrenia , I became reservered and turned to the net to find friends one time when I really overdosed badly which I could of subsequently died from someone who I would talk to often and thought I trusted got me mixed up in something with her I dont remember at all because of my Psychotic state , she then sent me a file saying it was a song or something for me but its was a Backdoor Trojan Virus , they got on my email my Facebook and Skype it took me weeks to get everything back and I realised I had been trapped, eventually Friends from work stopped talking to me I had no idea why I got a new job and was fine for a while until it came back I left the country even and it followed me I lost my job there for no reason and friends I had here who had no connection to home stopped talking to me as well ,so now Im in a stage where I have no friends , worried I may never work again , I know someone is out too destroy me all I am guilty of is being Naive and stupid and trusting , just want to die now its awfult to say 2012 I hope is a reality dont really want to be in a world like this anymore being held to Ransom by Cyber bullying is worse than the bullying I had when younger as I cant see the person doing it | |
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