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Posted by anonymous at March 13, 2012
Tags: Anxiety  Attitude  2012 March  Philosophical  Sociopathy

I am a 27 year old female virgin, still living with my parents, I can't drive, and have never lived on my own, or been on holiday on my own. I have never had a boyfriend or dated any one, as I get older all I do is watch other people be happy with each other and wondering why I must be singled out as different, i can't talk to anyone about this as there is no one who will relate, to be told that I am attractive, good looking, it just leads me to thinking that I must be ugly on the inside to be repelling people away, guys stare but they don't approach, and I have tried to be more active in this, by striking up conversations first, smiling back, but I never know what to do beyond that stage and it never progresses to a phone call, I am an antisocial person by nature, so I am out of my comfort zone in this, although guys like to think women have the power in regards to sex, we really don't, society dictates that it is the man who should make the contact, as a woman you have to play games to get a guy to "chase" you, and you have to do it the right way: come on too soft and they won't get the message, come on too strong and they think you are desparate, I never realised trying to be happy was so hard. I am not defining my happiness on another person, but it is nice to atleast experience a moment with someone. To have someone, even for a short time, think that you are worth something.

That's only one problem, which I guess could be related to a wider problem of general social anxiety. But this is something which stems from sufferring from a bad skin condition from when i was a child, and living with the scars, which people say they can't see, and I don't know if the scars are really still there or I am imagining it.

I worked to get my degree and my masters only to end up in a job i hate working overtime for shifts I don't get paid for, with no chance for promotion, in a recession which makes it hard to find another job. I have been working on my dreams/ambitions of things I want to achieve for so long with nothin accomplished yet, I wonder is it worth it?

I want to go on holiday and take a break, but can't bare the thought of going alone as I have no friends to go with. I am miserable/crying on a daily basis.

I feel like I don't really have a future, the key success in life is being able to share your life with another person, reproducing, becoming a mother, I feel like I will never have these things, I will never have someone call me mother, wife, lover. I will die alone. sometimes it seems better to just end my pathetic existance. I even called up a suicide prevention line, but was too scared to speak and hung up.

I have learned in my experience and sufferring that everyone has a hard life, everyone suffers, everyone goes through pain, but most people will have experienced a small piece of happiness (or if you are luckky a long period of happiness) with another person: boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, kids. but (and I dare anyone to disagree with me) no one goes through as hard a life, as someone who will die never having loved, or been loved, they are going through the same problems and hardships that everyone else is going through, plus the fact that thay are an evolutionary failure, the prime purpose in life is to reproduce and they {meaning me] can't even do that right.


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Comments:
By Cursed at 15,Mar,12 09:51

I've been crying almost every morning too. What about getting a pet? My dog has been my savior. She even senses when I am feeling blue, and will come and stick her big head on my lap. I scratch her ears, thinking, god- I am so lucky I have her... People unfortunately are not that easy. It's unlikely someone will just come up to you and give you a hug. Instead they are more likely going to cut you off in traffic, flip you the bird, or give you a dirty look.
I know it's hard to make friends, and the older you get, the harder it is...
Can you find solace in any activities that you enjoy? Taking a risk socially sounds like a big deal for you, but if you could find some outlets, anything- clubs, volunteering, hell- go on a vacation alone, if that's what it takes-
But do something. Anything to get you out of your routine, so that you'll open up an opportunity to meet someone?
Well, that's my two cents-
But if anything, writing down your problems is good therapy...
Your friend on Life Sucks,
Cursed


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 10:30

Hi, Just read your post, a lot of the things you say really resonated with me as I also feel like an outsider, like I don't always "get it" despite people I know telling me I'm a great guy etc, I just don't feel it myself. I empathise in not having anyone to tell these thoughts to, I don't think anyone I know would understand! I am desperately lonely and it is really affecting my confidence, no confidence = no friends = no social life = feeling like a prisoner in my own home. I know that action conquers fears but right now I feel too afraid to take action. Anyway if you want a new friend drop an email to andyhuttley@yahoo.co.uk. Maybe we can talk about our problems via email and encourage each other to do things differently.I'm tired of not living the life I dream of


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 10:31

myopenid.com


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 10:32

I Will talk to you email me 216.crusaders@gmail.com


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 11:36

anonymous, I would like to talk to you please.
hook.cynthia@yahoo.com


By Truth at 15,Mar,12 12:39

Ok, look....sob stories hold all the clues. Within your whiny rant are many clues to getting to the bottom of your current issue, and I suspect you have much larger issues than this one, but I'll help you here..

First of all, you posited right upfront that it COULD be you are "anti-social" by nature. WELL NO FUCKING SHIT!!! Imagine that...you're anti-social so no one seems to want to interact with you! Holy fuck....whoda thunk it? Think you might be able to tone it down a bit nancy? How about instead of just giving up and slinking away you just walk up to the object of yyour feeble interpersonal communication attempt and asking him (or her) " hey what the fuck, jingo, do I offend? Clearly I got panty puddles for you so why don't you wise up and get ready to bump uglies with me???" .....or something along those lines. Now, I guarantee you that unless your face looks like somebody ran it thru the clothes drier with along with a box of nails, you're gonna get some, and that's the first step toward getting a connection.

You gotta "connect" , before you can connect. Now, all these saps here will tell you "oh poor baby..it's not you it's everybody else. That Truth guy is just a mean old bastard" BULLSHIT, I'm giving it to you straight! It IS you...all you. You're a goddamn basket case right now, but we just got us a hint as to what to do first.

Second....one word, booze. Jinkwater, 40, love potion #80, proof, vagina vinegar, pussy pop, ugly eraser....hooch. You gotta start drinkin'..like, today...right now even. In fact, I'd do this first, before you try the technique above. it's best if you start drinking before 10 a.m....that way you're loaded up right around lunch time, and you can keep this going all day and night long with a minimum of fuss. Much easier to manage than having a coupe hours to get loaded before closing time. Use booze wisely, or rather, daily, and you'll have all the lovin you can handle.

Now, finally, you're a fuckin liar who needs to get over herself. SOMEONE has loved you before...I bet someone loves you now and you're too fucking stuck in your lovely dark cloud to figure that out. It's bad enough you lie right here to me, but what's worse is you lie to yourself...daily. I'd love to cover you with baloney slices and then let 9 feral cats in the room to take care of the mess, and then I'd pee in all of your houseplants before I took the last oreo out of your cookie jar and smashed it into your white carpet with the heel of my warboot.

but...that'd be too easy...you make it rough enough on yourself, BY yourself, already. So shut the fuck up, pay attention to what I said, and go get the love that's already there just about ready to punch you in your blind ass face.

You're welcome!
By at 17,Mar,12 09:16

U shld be completely ashamed of urself for the things u said to a girl who is obviously having a difficult time rite now but i can almost guarantee it that ur a low life self centered junkie that sleeps around with many men to gain what u Call CONNECTION!!!!! Honey just a bit of advice..if u have to do sum of what ur instructing the girl who u have trashed over nd over again shld do its apparent that ur a EFFFFN SLEEZZZE BAG THAT WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING...Before u point ur finger at anyone make sure ur hands r clean HOOCH and i almost can guarantee theyre as dirty as u r...


By Ash at 15,Mar,12 13:13

Sometimes you have to indulge yourself by yourself, if that makes any sense. People don't know how beautiful you are, and that is just fine so long as you don't allow them to convince you that you need to have a lover or friends. They don't matter so long as you don't want them to. If you like laughing, watch something funny.You like bike riding, go for it.Indulge and forget how horrible people are. You aren't the problem; they are. I love you and will pray for you. Be selfish, forgive and understand this existence is temporary. Maybe save up for plastic surgery to emit how you really are on the inside. God bless


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 16:17

you're healthy, educated, employed, and attractive. that's a lot more than many of us on here can ask for.

i am like you but much worse. i am 26, broke, unemployed, and uneducated as well as carless and friendless and living with my parents. so your situation could be a lot worse cuz i wish had my degree and a job.

if you're bad with dating in the real world cuz you're shy and have social anxiety, try online dating.


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 17:10

email me at cmilbourne09@hotmail.co.uk


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 18:19

Hey I know that life seems to be hard sometimes and especially without the holding of somone in your arms and making you feeel loved. I completely understand this as I to have gone through a period in my life where it seemed men only wanted me for my body and to use me for sex so i really wasnt getting the emotion and love that I needed. I have almost fully raised my 16 yr old son and want another one. I was overweight most of my adult life living with 400 pounds. No men wanted me as I was to big to even climb up stairs. I took control of my life and had the dangerous surgery because I wasnt going to let life get in my way of happiness for me and my son. I have now lost over 200 pounds and I feel great about myself and my self esteem has rise. To all you readers out there including the unhappy 27 yr old then please feel free to email me anytime as I check my email daily. I am a great listener and sometimes you just need the help from a stranger to push you back on track to the happiness that you all deserve.... tgonzalez10_2000@yahoo.com


By anonymous at 15,Mar,12 19:49

Ever tried online dating? Just do tht its way more easier to get to know other and then you can meet up with them in person..you know the rest. There is someone out there for everybody


By anonymous at 17,Mar,12 00:43

First of all, the person above named Truth, you did you go by that name when you're a cold hearted little bastard. I think you was a little to rude. And for the author of this story, I do wish you the best. In do time, everything will start to fall in place for you. Don't listen to bullshit people throw at you.
By anonymous at 17,Mar,12 09:23

thank u ANONYMOUS. Im soooo glad sumone else feels this girls pain. I know xactly where she is coming from. The comments TRUTH has posted are nothing but complete ignorance. Thaanxx Again..

HAZE....


By anonymous at 18,Mar,12 12:39

Hey, its not that bad. i'll be 28 soon. Our problem more or less the same. You should be grateful at least u have ur dream job. i am unemployed . I quitted work last 2 months and saved some money. its great i dont have to rely on my mom's. I will move out from my parents house next 2 months or so. I have been living with them most of my lifetime. I have scars too physically and emotionally. my father sexually disturbed me when i was 12. i never told anyone bcos I love my mom and will do nothing to make her sad. I can bear living with this 'scar' till this far. Now i wanted to find way myself. i wanted to heal and find happiness. I am not against men in fact I have lots of male friends than women. and get along with them pretty well. As long as no request of having me as a girlfriend or wife. Bcos that will make me sad big time. I am happier this way. I will be more happy when i get my dream job soon and live peacefully thats all. Wish everyone here all the best:) Cheers.


By Tony at 19,Mar,12 10:50

You should listen to Nirvana.


By anonymous at 22,Mar,12 08:35

Truth, please go to the hospital and get those tumours removed, they are affecting your judgement.


By juice at 31,Mar,12 13:24

Who told you that a relationship makes one happy. Its misery.. trust me. Personally if you ask me, the best time one can have is the time with yourself.. when you look at the stars and wonder about the boundless expanse of the universe, when you look at the placid waters of the sea and feel the peace that it brings, when you find a passion and spend the rest of your life doing it peacefully and alone in your own zone not caring about the outside world, just doing your thing which you love doing the most. Cherishing every little accomplishment you make in your small little beautiful world. But if ever you still feel the need to talk to someone and you find nobody, don't hesitate, just call me +919049132030.


By anonymous at 14,Apr,12 13:38

please be careful with these people giving you their direct email or phone contacts.


By doudoune canada goose at 18,Oct,14 12:42

I find yourself listening to Grooveshark although.


By tn requin pas cher at 02,Mar,15 06:22

It's my job to find yourself hearing Grooveshark however.


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