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Im so hopeless

Posted by Anonymous girl at March 14, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Family  Friendship  Loneliness  2012 March

Since I was little all I've ever seen is my dad hit my mom and my family treat eachother like crap. My dad is an alcoholic' drug addict and my mom is an obsessed crazy depressed christian. I've never had love from my family. I have low self esteem because of this. I can't help but to feel like i'm not worthy of anything. I can't talk to my friends about problems because they will never understand. I've never truly been happy. Sure I've been happy for little moments becaue of a guy or something but at the end of the day i'm always sad. Im a senior in high school and I feel like I have just wasted the best years of my life. I don't think I will go to college because I have bad grades and money problems. My mom doesnt buy me anything, she just gives all the money away to church. I've had a job but I got fired for being stupid. Now I had a chance of getting another job but I have no one to take me. All i eveer want to do is drink or get high but I cant drink anymore because I have gastritis because of too much drinking. I have no friends just some, and I can't stand them, I think they are stupid and annoying at times. Im really shy around everyone. Everytime a guy likes me, I feel like they don't truly like me like they just want to use me. I feel like everyone is fake like my family because thats all im used to seeing. Sometimes I want to kill myself but i'm too afraid to actually do it. Im just so sad and lonely..my life is out of order. I have no one to support me. I feel like theres nothing worth living for and Im sad because I think Im never going to be happy. I can't even keep a relationship with anyone.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Alone, broke and hopeless for the holidays December 18, 2011
Hopeless February 2, 2010
I feel so hopeless and dont deserve to live March 21, 2012
is this it May 23, 2010
Hopelessness February 4, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 16,Mar,12 22:09

Dont give up. i know life is rough and yours much more so than many people. im so sorry your father is an abusive alcoholic and your mother is sorta crazy and believes giving god money will make things right. but your a beautiful girl whos smart. you just have to focus your abilities. you should go to community college and buckle down. its what i did. its not to expensive you get lones and really open up your future oppurtunities. theres always a wayto improve your life. and relationships are a hard thing for anyone to keep up dont be afraid to take risks and actually give someone your love. your heart may get broken but in order to find true love and happiness that has to happen a few times. o btw im a guy and honestly we want more than sex in a relationship. we want a partner who understands us and we understand them so were not just about sex. sorry this is so long i just smoked so i was super motivated to type i guess haha keep on keeping on!!!
By anonymous at 16,Mar,12 23:20

Awe thank youu so muchhh, that was so sweet :) I though it was a girl the whole time lol but you really actually made me feel a little better . Thank youuuu I really appreciate this comment


By Cursed at 17,Mar,12 08:08

AG-
Awwww hell, you're just a babe kid. A senior in high school, heck, wanna trade places?
Ahhhhh- to go back and have to world by the cahones, or at least think you do...
Now, here's some advice:
Get better grades- you're not stupid and anyone that ever told you were stupid is an insecure asswipe.
Secondly, get a job.
You can find one, if you are gonna get yourself outta this miserable life you're in, sounds like you're the only one that is gonna get it done-
Get a job. Find a ride to the job. Get a bike. Walk if you have to...
Don't go to fucking college until you know exactly what you want to do. Seriously. Work. Otherwise when it's all said and done- you're still looking for that job- and now you have a ton of debt over your head!!
Work. Work. Work.
Stay focused.
Stop drinking.
Work and save. Soon you'll have money. Saved. Try to live with your parents as long as they will allow. Do not escape your life with a BOY.
Do not get pregnant. Do not move in with a boy to escape your parents.
Do get a car. Find friends. Get a life- of your own.
DO NOT BECOME YOUR PARENTS
And you should be all set-
And finally HAPPY.
Good Luck AG-
We're all rootin for yah-
Cursed


By anonymous at 16,Sep,12 12:13

WOW! I am so sorry. What you are going through... must be hell. Stay strong. Don't give up. If you feel that you cannot talk to your freinds, try talking to a guidance councellor, or a teacher you really trust. Try talking to your friends about tiny problems just to see if you can trust them enough.
When my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, my friends really helped me through that time. Not that I am comparing, obviously your problems are 1000 times bigger. But what I am trying to say is, that friends may not give advice, but to have someone to hold your hand while you talk, to wipe your tears or to hug you and say... " we are right with you", that is amazing. So stay strong and keep going on! You have me. Email me if you have a problem.. rhea.saupin@gmail.com
I had a friend who was going through similar problems... that is why I feel you need a friend right now. :)


By anonymous at 03,Oct,12 20:50

im sorry that you probably wont see this but u have to keep in mind that you are a beautiful, unique, smart (u may deny it but the perspective u give on life is amazing


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