LIFE SUCKS

Life Sucks....

I am 29 yrs old.. For work i came outside the city where my family leaves. coz i was ditched by the guy whom i loved. I found the place nice and started making friends. I ended up in Love with a guy who is married. He too likes me very much. days months yesars passed by spending time together before work, going to office together and then back home.. nights thinking about him and waiting for him to come.. Days were soo good and blessed.. couple of year later, he started facing problems with his family and he comes home always upset and sad. doesnt talk to me well. tries to avoid me, gets irritated to all the talks i do. one fine day we had fight and he left me bring all this friends into this matter, and told them that we had relationship :(.. i lost all the world around me :(. no one liked me then coz i was in love with a married man.all my friends left me. i am alone :(.. after a month he came back to me telling he cant live without me. i was happy and felt top of the world.. its been 2 yrs we are back again, but the problem is, i am nto able to be myself with him. i feel he might leave me anytime or might get his friends again. or i always doubt if he likes me truely or not :(.i have no one here except him.. i am here is only coz of him. my parents are searching for a boy. thinks arent working out there. or here too.. he is happy sometimes and goes sad most of the times coz of his family problms. he is not himself with me. not i am able to. i try to change or divert his mind. but he gets pissed of with me when i try to talk to him. before he used to share every thing with me. now he tels i have some personal problems so let it be with me. i dont knw how to deal with it :(. either he is happy or me.. both arent able to leave each other coz we love.. i feel very jealous when he goes out with his wife for outing and he hardly takes me out. now with the situation he is in he hardly spends time with me. when he does he reacts to me ery differently. i always think abt and feel like crying that we arent been able to be normal. i love him loads.. but his family problems are killing our realtionship. i dont want to break his family but i want him to be with me how he was before :( ... its such a dead lock..everyday i am sad, unhappy, cant tel him wht i am feeling, want to hug him tight, but dont knw his situation...i am not able to leave him coz i love... dont knw wht to do.... my life sucks.. :(