LIFE SUCKS

I am convinced I am forever alone.

I am a 17 year old female who seems to be the only one in the highschool pond that feels like this time of my life (supposedly the "best years") is a joke. I had one boyfriend. One. I am a romanticist, so when we started dating, I pledged all loyalty to him and made him my center. Of course, as highschool males usually go, his intentions were a bit more shallow. He took complete advantage of me, neglected me, and reduced me to a slobbering mess in the girls locker room when I finally realized where his heart was; in his pants. I didn't get over him. My friends were distant. I never talked with my family. The whole experience left me broken. I got back with him a second time. He cheated on me. I got over him and hate him to this day. I went through a series of random hookups that only made me hate myself. Then, I lost my closest friends due to the fact that they started talking to my infamous ex. Eventually, I became close with a new girl who I hold near and dear to my heart. Recently, I started talking to a new boy. I really loved the idea of him. I loved everything he said to me. I knew it was just a practiced lie, but I loved the idea of something so exciting. We hung out and he was pretty much my ex in another form. I am not interested in a buddy to mess around.
So, this leads me to my conclusion. I am convinced I will be forever alone. I wallow in my pity every day. This recent "breakup" hurt beyond belief. Just the rejection and falseness of someone who was such a bright hope kills me. I lost so much and had to acustom myself to nights alone. My phone was never on, I knew no one would call. Then this boy came and I was beyond happy. That happy that makes you think, yeah this is how it is supposed to be. Well thats gone. So life sucks and I am alone. Just crap.