I'm not one to complain and I'm pretty easygoing- so this is the most primal side of me that I'm choosing to share. I'm a hard worker and people take advantage- making only minimum wage. I owe $700 to a roommate (half of my tuition- other half paid myself) for my CNA classes. My aunt let me borrow her truck to go to school. I had the second highest average academically, yet my performance anxiety made me lose focus so much to where common sense tasks like cleaning dentures became a challenge. I dreaded the people watching me. I had a change of heart and I abandoned the notion I'd ever become a CNA because of the stress I felt. I don't have the slightest clue what to do with my life now...I know I'm smart enough to surpass fast food- but I'm at a point where I'm too lazy to pursue anything. I wouldn't ever work if I didn't have to, honestly. I get depressed that I have to. I don't like interacting with people much, never have. The person I love has Crohn's disease, and although I will never abandon him- I truly love him...he has no job, and I'm not sure if he'll be on disability one day or whether I'll be stuck taking on the brunt of things for us. Dishes, laundry, groceries, rent (let's not forget). I no longer have my aunt's truck-the leaf spring got damaged so it's totaled due to aging. I must take the trolley to work- I'm only getting 20hrs. max right now. I'm living with my sister in a trailer in the trashiest ghetto town imaginable, and I've been given until May to move out because she's moving away for school purposes. I fear moving...I don't know how I'll afford my own place- and I'm very angry about that. I hate that this world revolves around money and greed. I hate minimum wage. Job description barely matters- I work harder than most all of my employees and I probably won't ever receive any recognition. I especially dislike all of the pressures I'm facing- it's a drag. | |