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The Scum of the Earth

Posted by Jokulhaups at March 20, 2012
Tags:  2012 March

I'm 22 and have been in community college for 4 years now. I need to get 3 more courses done to finish but this is my big complicated problem: I can't get any more money from federal loans because I usually fail two of my courses every semester the others I usually get an A or B in. Four courses really is too much for me at one time, and I'm sorry I fell into the pressure of needing to take four at a time just so I wouldn't look like a joke and please my parents. One course I've failed 3 times now is Public Speaking because I'm pretty shy and intimidated by a large amount of people I don't know. My family is doing pretty well financially but they do not know my situation. I told them I'm ready to move on to a 4-year institution and will be applying for graduation. I've been trying to get a part time job within the past 3 months with no luck. I don't know what will happen when they find out I've lied to them. My sister thinks i'm a piece of shit already and if this gets out I will never hear the end of it from her. Aside from the fear of them knowing, I think they would be willing to pay the rest of my way through community college. At the same time, I don't think I deserve anything more from my parents. I've lied to them countless times about my school progress and my current situation. I have no job and they are supporting me with room and board. There's also a family vacation planned for the week of my birthday with everything booked and payed (not because of my birthday though, it just so happened to be an open week.) I should be thrown on the street for the rats to eat. This dark secret has been haunting me for months now and I'm not sure if I can bare it any longer. I feel the right thing to do is to tell them but then I will be a piece of shit in my family's eyes if I'm not already.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 21,Mar,12 14:56

i know how you feel. i dropped a public speaking class too due to fear of the presentations. you should have spoken to your counselor about this and seen if you could have substituted another class for it. no need to take it 3 times. you should speak up. what's done is done. but don't be embarrassed and don't continue making these horrible decisions. you should take 2-3 courses if you know that you cannot handle 4 courses. everyone is different. there is no shame in this. at least you are trying and going to school and are almost done with it.

i think you should tell your parents the truth and tell them how bad you feel about what you have done. trust me, the truth will set you free. creating a web of lies is just one disaster after one not to mention the guilt and regret you feel. it eats you alive. it's always better to tell the truth. i am sure they will understand and if they know that you are looking for a part time job to correct your mistakes that makes you look very responsible. so fess up and keep trying to get a part time job. you only have 3 more courses to go. gotta finish it after all that you have been through. good luck.


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