Well here I am going through a divorce and watching my current relationship crumble and have no damn clue what to do. No I didn't initiate the divorce. While she was never 'Ms Right', she was nevertheless the mother of my three kids and I'll be damned if I didn't try to salvage it. I raised her son from a previous relationship from the time he was four. Hes now twenty. Our oldest together is 15 and is far too busy to hang out with dad. My younger two are both autistic and require special attentiveness. So after holding my frustrations in for years, I turned to alcohol to take a mental vacation when things felt overwhelming. About this time I developed hyperthyroidism which sapped me of my strength and made me shake like an 80 yr old. One more shovel full of shit to throw on top. Of course fights broke out ( no i never, ever hit my ex. I dont hit women even if they deserve it) and eventually I found myself in jail after the cops were called and they found a grenade i had as a souvenir. The fact it was in a locked and secure place and not accessible to the kids was of no consequence. Felony 'posession of a destructive device'. Since I was drunk when the cops were called, the court figured i needed rehab. So i did an inpatient 90 day and got back home. Still couldn't fake like I was happy and dealing with my ex's nagging how everything i like but she doesn't, or I do that she doesn't, or what I listen to but she doesn't, etc means I'm wrong. So fights continued. Was in construction for years when housing bottomed out so found myself unemployed. The darkest days of our marriage are long gone but now suddenly she wants divorce. She found someone so I did too. Problem is even though my alcoholism is in the past, my girlfriends nisn't. She binges around once a month and starts screaming arguments and vomits all over the room so i moved downstairs till she sobers up. I had no idea she was like this till i moved in with her. My ex found her bf first but though i wanted to kick his ass, i was in no mood to go to jail again and having another felony wouldve made it impossible to get joint custody of my boys. Theyre the most important thing in my life. Oh yes I could leave but i have nowhere to go but the back of my truck. Its winter and just snowed and my heater in the truck is broke. Unemployment ran out and am looking for a job high and low but nothing yet. My gf and i wont be together much longer i think, and therefore since i will be homeless that ruins my bid for joint custody. Here i am up at 453 in the morning, been up since three because i have insomnia. I can't get a decent nights sleep for the life of me. Its during these long nights i sometimes think back to my childhood and the beatings I took at the hands of my mom after my parents divorced and getting in trouble for not dressing out for p.e.' I didn't tell them it was because i was embarrassed of the bruises on my legs. So i carpeted the doghouse cuz that was the only place to go when mom locked me outside to miss dinner because the punk rock i listened to was so evil. I guess if I was able to carpet a doghouse I should be able to carpet the bed of my truck lol. Well the sun is going to rise in a bit and i need to check the classifieds so thats all from me. | |
...probably what everyone else is...which is, who the fuck is this turdburgling shitbird and why do I care about grenade man's problems since it's pretty clear he's a fuckalop nutcase who also owns a GRENADE!
I'd like to kick you so hard that your ass cheeks would switch sides, and then you'd have reverse ass, which would make it impossible to wipe properly.
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