LIFE SUCKS

Big move, big tears

This past year has been one if the hardest of my life. My mom, brother, and I were forced to live without my father last year, when he desperately took a job far from our home in austin Texas, to Maryland. This I was fine with, I never felt like I was going to leave the home I grew up in. So a year later, once the house was sold, we were moving the very last boxes into our moving truck. Two of my dear friends came to bid me goodbye. Through this I felt nothing. And I stood there awkwardly when they began to cry. It wasn't real to me. We soon left late on a Sumer night, feeling somewhat sad when we left my empty shel of a house. The tree with my initials carved al over it's branches, and the cement sidewalk with my little hands forever presed into it's surface. After a week of hell, we made it here. We pulled into the long driveway And felt overcome with joy as we saw this quaint little house. Little did we know we were renting a horror story. Cracks run in the walls of most every room. The entire back wall of the home is rotten. Water damage is found constantly through the place. And the relitor had left all the windows open for 3 Sumer months. Enough time to be consumed in stinkbugs, spiders, hornets, and other eerie bugs. Deep into the winter months, we soon realized that the landlord left us with no oil in the heater. We're exosting our money on gas bills, food , and the simple cost of living and had no extra money to pay someone to come out and preform the mandatory inspection before filling the oil, so we froze. Leaving over half of the house uninhabited all fall and winter. These living conditions were a considerably easy adaption. But I was not prepared for the freshman school year scene. I crashed and burned on every first impression, left with less than five people that I could call friends over an acquaintance. I've made it through this far, gettjng behind jn their mediocre educationjng system, and suffering through the awkwardness of silence. Nights like these I morm o er my past life in Austin. Knowing I'm not going back, and I lose it. Crying as few tears as possible but just enough to feel myself slipping away jn this over rated scene. And knowing I have to do it again possibly every year left in high school. I will never be on the celebrated dance team with my friends, I won't ever eat in their cafeteria, I won't see him again.. And I feel like.. Just nothing... And I, one to never cry, have found myself tearing up more and more often. I don't want to go through this. My education is shattered and I don't know what I'm suited for after high school, we don't know where we'll be a year from now once the lease is up, I just don't know. I hate Maryland.