I am a professional man. I am married to another man, but the state doesn't recognize our marriage. For fourteen years I would have argued with anyone who claimed he would mess around with anther guy. Then I found emails where he was talking with other guys about hooking up for sex. He says he didn't do it, but I don't know what to think. He keeps secrets from me and is very reserved about what he does when I am not around.
I took a new job so I wouldn't travel as much so I could be with him. He took a new job that lets him not work when I am working and works when I am not working. He has a lot of free time, but doesn't tell me much about what he is doing. I don't know if he is fucking around. If he is I can't stop him. It's so available.
My new job has me working 10 hour days five days a week and several hours on Saturday and Sunday. (no extra pay) from problems that started because of the person in the position before me.
I have two kids, both adults, who seem to mostly contact me when they want something and they come by at Christmas to get gfts. They live in another state.
I don't want to live without my husband, but I don't want to live the way things are either. When I try to talk about things he gets mad. I dont know how to do anything else.
Life sucks, but not in a good way. I don't know how much longer it can go as it is. Too many things are fucked up at the same time.