I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we've been friends for 7. The first year was perfect, we didn't even argue. Now comes year two, his best friend moved in with us and almost instantly they are attached at the hip. It felt like he wanted his friends more than me. This is also when I realized that he lies (about everything!)..to fix our relationship he went to his grandparents house to help his grandpa with some work..While there he cheated on me with his cousin and his cousins girlfriend (yes a threesome). I ended up taking him back then I realize he has developed a drinking prolem, it got so bad he would hide empty beer cans under our bed and night stands. He said he'd get some help so I stayed but he never got it. Next I found a bunch of porn on his computer and I am personally not okay with that in my relationship and he knows it so we fight and he ends up leaving me to go to Vegas with his friends on New Years Eve. We make up then I find out he's sick..we still cant find out whats wrong with him. It's been months and we still can't figure it out his doctor thinks it might be Chron's Disease. So things were ok, now tonight I find porn on his computer again, weed in his truck, and pills in his dresser. I fucking hate him but I love him way too much to leave. I've tried. | |
First of all relax. Breathe. Things are not as bad as you think. SO he lies, has porn on his computer and does drugs. That is nothing compared to the fact that he fucked his cousin. That would have been a deal breaker for me but if you are able to accept him who am I to say anything? I think what you need right now is some space and time for yourself. Take a weekend off. Go to the beach and listen to some music. Just think about yourself. You might be surprised to know how much of his bad behavior has rubbed off on you. Think of how much you have changed for him. Then think about him. I know you said you loved him but be realistic, no roses and sunshine. What has he done for you? Think about it. You don't need anyone to solve your problems for you. Just think. Then trust me you will know exactly what to do. Then take things slow as you do what you have to. If you are determined to change him, start small. But if you will leave him, try to find someone else to help you deal with the pain. Preferably a girl who is a friend. But make sure she is not judgemental. You don't need someone who says "I told you so" Good luck. Whatever you decide.
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