LIFE SUCKS

Anticipation and in need of advice.

It's a bit of a long story, but I'd really appreciate it if yo could read it and give me advice.
I know my parents won't live forever so they won't be able to pay the bills, and make a living for me... So that is one of the reasons I think all parents worry about their children and want them to go to college and find a job right after highschool. So they can be reassured they did a good job. And are safe knowing we can handle life.
Well, I quit college. They don't know yet. I wanted to quit before, and I even told them. It was horrible. But I should have stuck with it. Now I have to go through that again. But you know, people have it worse and I will survive. I can't just ignore this.
all plans I have are not safe plans. I would like to go on different courses, like for web designing and cooking and all sort of different things. Then I would go travel, couch surfing, hostels, and such. Maybe even find people who would be willing to meet up from all over the world and travel together. I know it sound foolish. But all of my friends have a "normal life and plans". I didn't find happiness in college. Doing the same stuff always, everyday and doing that so I could find a job where I could do the same thing forever.
I don't know what to do in life. And the things people find foolish or things that are like from a book or that are like a story are the kind of things I would like to be parts of my life. And actually be a person who could live a book. I would like to one day have a safe home, I don't know what I would do. I just don't know. And I don't know if I can imagine a life that would be the same everyday. How can people do that? Is it funny if I say after I've read the hunger games I feel I have a strong will inside and that it feels like it's hiding. And just waiting to do the things I want. Only my parents would be devastated. And in all the books I've read people do things even when that happens, you have to be selfish if you want your life to be the way you imagined it. Is that right? Would I be selfish in that case?
Before you judge me, please, I know this is all a bit out of the ordinary and I really don't know what to do with my life. Things have happened, everybody has some sort of problems, but I feel like just being alive and having food and a roof over my head are enough and I feel really grateful so I won't talk about the bad things cause nothing is that horrible that I can't live through it, this is why I didn't want to talk about what has happened. Now I feel numb and empty, and am wondering what to do in life. I have friends and I try and say to myself it's enough that I have people to go out with and talk to them. I'm not lonely, but I feel alone. I think they would betray me, that they are not real friends. I think so, but I'm not sure. Is it okay to say it's enough I have people to talk to? So many don't have even that. I am really confused. And I need advice. I know it's long thank you for reading this much. And I'm hoping for some answers...Thank you. I'm not from an English speaking country so excuse me for any mistakes.