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Hate being a doctor

Posted by anonymous at March 27, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Job  2012 March

college, med school, phd, residency, fellowship. Tired of seeing my life pass in front of me and do nothing. tired of work and study over nothing.
i hate my job, i hate my patients and those stupid nurses. i hate my colleges and my life i think i just hate myself. I sleep 3 hours every day, have to do everything im expected to do everything right and to be perfect outside work
Im tired of trying to be perfect. even though I've worked hard to be here, I am lazzy and not very smart. I used to care, now i don't give a damn if you get better or not.
Im so fucking tired of being given bullshit at work everyday. and then i get home and get extra bullshit for not returning calls? what do you think i WAS DOING? TANNING MY ASS AND DRINKING BEER IN HAWAII? NO!!! I was fucking working like an idiot.
fuck everything this life is shit


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 06,Dec,12 10:37

I'm a pharmacist thinking about going back to medical school because i'm not satisfied with what i do. After reading all of your comments i'm really second guessing this decision.
By anonymous at 27,Jan,13 16:01

I did that & nowi spend my life stressed out, no time for anything. Don't bother
By anonymous at 14,Feb,13 18:36 Fold Up

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By anonymous at 04,Apr,13 09:41 Fold Up

omg, do NOT go to med school. My husband is a pharmacist and earns more than me b/c I'm an internist. He refers to all the hours I spend at home dealing w/ pts, finishing notes, etc., as my "volunteer work." He's absolutely right.
By anonymous at 12,Apr,13 00:12 Fold Up

DON'T FUCKING DO IT!!!!


By anonymous at 08,Jan,13 18:00

Just returned from an overall not bad day...but I still hated every last single fucking minute of being a doctor. Aside from when I am actually speaking to a nice patient who did not intentionally destroy their body. I do truly like my patients and feel for them.

It is everybody else that literally destroys my spirit and any happiness I have ever had. Hard to smile. Ever.
By anonymous at 12,Apr,13 00:14

My words exactly


By anonymous at 26,Feb,13 21:54

I agree completely! Being in private practice barely , and some times not at all, pays the bills. For all the grueling effort and hard, hard work I have done and do it is more than disappointing to bring home slightly more than a manager at Walmart. I like treating patients about half the time but I have no time for my family and certainly none for myself! I soon will have to join a hospital group for my practice will eventually fail financially with the way things have been going. I would never encourage anybody to go into medicine. The only thing I am trying to do now is pay off enough of my debt that i can manage the payments in a different job and cut my losses as soon as I can. It has me depressed that it has taken so much of my life but I know I am in control of whether I stay or not. As soon as I find a way to make it work I will be getting out and doing something more enjoyable and less stressful. Really could not make much less money anyway! Try to keep your chin up knowing it won't have to be like this forever if you don't want. Depressing, yes. Permanent, no!


By anonymous at 26,Feb,13 22:31

i agree with the above comments
i have no time to relax
i want to quit but i couldnt do it
i just want a happy life


By kath at 01,Mar,13 23:27

Hi. Im a doctor in an island of the caribbean. I recently graduated and doing an internship for an entire year in my island. Its crazy. I mean i like this kind of medicine. Its general medicine. But its killing me that patients think i know everything and i just recently graduated. Im 24 and i feel my life is ruined. I like singing and photography. I should have studied something else. I just wrote i hate being a doctor and saw this and trust me.. doing a residency is something so far away from my mind. I hate shifts. I dont know what ill do. Luckly for me i didnt take students loans because in my country is not that expensive. But either way its crazy. My parents are going to kill me¡¡


By anonymous at 06,Mar,13 23:38

I hate residency, medicine, patients, and all the bullsh$&. Just got back from vacation was a happy person again for a couple days and now back in this crap and realizing this s$&$ never gets better, should've stayed away. Gonna get out and figure out loans some other way. Rather be poor and happy than constantly chasing next years happiness...


By anonymous at 06,Mar,13 23:41

It'll be better next year...it'll be better next year...o wait I'm 60 and my life sucked and never got better next year. That is medicine in a nutshell...
By anonymous at 21,Mar,13 19:37

Oh my god - how true
By Mike13 at 22,Jun,13 12:19 Fold Up

It's so true it makes me want to cry.


By anonymous at 07,Mar,13 23:49

I'm a doc. So many ups and downs. No one appreciates the things we see and do. The paperwork is endless and the rewards keep diminishing. I enjoy helping and interacting with patients but spend more worthless time entering useless data to satisfy the US govt. Watch out citizens, the govt is forcing physicians to record data you don't want to share. Good luck people. Ultimately you will get what you pay for.
By anonymous at 19,May,13 14:29

i m also a doctor
completed my mbbs nd nw getting results of various pg exams
after lots of hard work i m still nt getting a gud rank and i dnt know where i m lacking
i hate dat day when i decided to b a doctor


By anonymous at 11,Mar,13 06:23

I'm a Resident and can safely state that I haven't had one day in the medical field that I actually enjoyed. Here's some of the bullshit I just couldn't take:

As an Intern:
- Long hours, poor social life.
- Half the time, they won't pay you overtime (even if you had 20 cannulas to put in because you were expected to do it during the day).
- Boring co-workers (other doctors). The only "funny" stories they have to tell you are complaints or how they managed to get a cannula in but forgot that the patient already had one put in 30min ago.
- You're the shit-taker. No staff-member or patient would hesitate to talk to you like you're their slave (and not a doctor). Seniors dump their load on you and refuse to help out because they think "it's not their job".
- People bitch and complain about you (especially your own registrars), even about things as trivial as "he was rude" or "he came late" (by 2 min). You can't complain about anyone because no one would support you..in fact, everyone will gang up on you.
- People don't respect that you are doing your best to manage a massive load (and not spending your day sipping champagne at a bar)."We paged him first thing in the morning for a discharge summary but it STILL hasn't been done at 3pm".
- You get paid as much as a nurse.
- You don't really learn much. In fact, you probably knew more when you were in med school.
- It changes your personality. It makes you a serious, boring dullard.
- No one appreciates all the challenging cases you've dealt with. They will, however, remember you for a tiny slip-up (e.g. forgetting to do something when you had a million jobs), with a black mark next to your name.

Resident:
- Most of the above.
- Your body starts to take a physical toll.
- Begin to face the reality..you HAVE to study forever.


By anonymous at 15,Mar,13 23:28

Wow I am so glad I am not the only dr in the world who feels the same. I knew it in med school when the clinically started - I loved the beginning of med school: classes, studying, learning new things, managing my own time and the gratification that came with working hard and being rewarded...people kept telling me that I would like it when I got to the next step in my training...but It's the opposite. I am the most miserable I've ever been by far and guess what? I'm done. I got through residency, I passed my boards, I'm now in private practice and I hate my life so much it makes me look back on residency and miss it...which is a joke because it was pure hell and just barely less depressing than what I am doing now. I hate the doctor I work with who owns the practice. She hates me and I wish she would just fire me. I AM quitting medicine someday. Maybe not today but soon...I'm planning my escape and its the only thing that gives me the strength to go on. I'm so glad I came across this its the most normal I've felt in years. I can't talk to anyone in my life about this they don't understand or it's so sad and depressing to hear that they don't want to believe it.
By anonymous at 12,Apr,13 00:22

That's the thing - I have no one to talk to either. Medicine is lonely & miserable.


By anonymous at 21,Mar,13 20:21

Completely, completely relate...

Medicine is hard.

It is fucking hard.

The amount of effort is insane...

I guess the problem for me is not so much the work (I am a paed resident - I get through it) but the colleagues.

Doctors are conservative - personally and politically and are just not that interesting. Years of study and insane hours have removed all that remains of what was probably a very studious, conservative and type A personality to start with. I just don't relate to them on a personal level...I don't relate to their superconservative life values and life course...I also don't relate to the competitiveness and the crawling to superiors.

To be honest - its the patients as well...
Medical problems in kids can be completely heartbreaking. Particularly if you can only offer treatments that are marginally effective.

Then there are the parents.
I am genuinely shocked at the number of stupid, personality disordered and out and out neglectful even abusive parents.... oh yes, various social services get involved but to what effect??? None as far as I can see. There are some seriously fucked up parents out there. But anyone can breed. And the more stupid amongst us breed more.

I went into this job to help people.
To help people.
I am left believing that this system actually stops us from effectively helping people.
And wondering whether some people are actually beyond help.

It seems that many of my colleagues have gone into medicine for other reasons....its a steady, relatively high earning job. I think some do it because they like the competitive aspect. I am just not that competitive... Never have been. I studied hard because I found the course material interesting and wanted to see how well I could do. Beating out other people intellectually doesn't do it for me. But that seems to be the buzz that many of my colleagues get out of work.

I am lucky in that I live in a country where the debt for training incurred is minimal. So my debts are low (about $50000 - and I have $40000 saved from my internship already).

I loved medical school for the intellectual stimulation. I loved learning about physiology and biochemistry and although I don't have alot of experience as a scientist I reckon I could retrain in that quite easily.

But what I would really love to do is; create my own self-sufficient paradise. That sounds like a dream, doesn't it? A selfish dream....

Is it wrong to be selfish like this? It seems plenty of other people live their lives much more selfishly....


By kath at 25,Mar,13 12:41

Today i had a breakdown.. being a doctor is so boring.. today i realized something. i hate patients.. so many questions, pain, and they pretend we have all the answers..and i understand that..but i never thought how i hate someone complaining over and over again about things. Its driving me crazy. I just stare at the window thinking ''plz no more patients''. Today i seriously thought of quitting. I got so bored today and when i saw patients i was bored and uncomfortable too.

I wish i could be 18 again and study something else. :(


By anonymous at 26,Mar,13 01:45

Kath - I completely understand....

Patients can be an awesome pain in the ass (not all, but some, certainly).

They want you to commit to a diagnosis (before the bloods and xrays come back), they want you to commit to a prognosis (and refuse to believe that statistics have a range, that different people can experience different side effects and heaven forbid I might give you something different than Uncle Lenny got up the road for his diabetes). They want to be told that everything will be fine and dandy if they just take this pill...

And god forbid you should try to tell them if they're exaggerating symptoms. Or that there might be, just maybe, just a smidge of psychological overlay to their presentation...

And young people... holy crap have they always been so weak?? When was the last time you saw a young person lets say 15-20yos who did not moan and groan about having blood taken or an injection...1/2 of them are uncomfortable about swallowing a pill because they're so used to syrups...

And their parents cave!!!! Yes, they cave!!!
Can my poor little precious forego the bloods??
Can my poor little precious have a syrup, they're not very good at taking pills.

Because you haven't taught the little sweetie.

And the little sweetie has just told me he's been having unprotected anal sex with his girlfriend.

So the cause of his UTI and fever might be on the exotic side Mrs Idiot. So little booboo will have to be a good little boy and get his blood cultures.

They haven't been raised to be courageous.
I feel sorry for them.
I remember conquering my fears of injections at age 6 for gods sake and I'm not a particularly courageous person.

The real patients. The really sick patients do not frustrate me. I want to help them - but often our tools and resources are limited. And then there's the whole balance between; are we doing more harm than good here? Always a moral quandary. And Jesus, I'm not God. I don't know. I don't know. Here's a trial of 15 patients from Uruguay with your condition and with this treatment they had a mean survival time of 6 months, but it varied from 2-15 months. And 30% of them had horrible side effects that made them think life was not worth living. And you are not taking a word of this in are you? Because I just said 2 months.

So that's medicine in a nutshell. Either frustrating or sad. Always stressful.


By anonymous at 15,Apr,13 22:19

Holy Crap! I am sooo glad I found others to commiserate with! I'm starting my last year of residency. I have no life outside the hospital. My wife has had affairs, but I just don't care anymore. My colleagues are, for the most part, completely conservative and boring (there is nothing other than work to talk about, it seems). The debt burden is formidable, and I wish I could get rid of it. I'm tired of managing patients' unreal expectations. Seriously - you just had surgery, or you have this or that -- I cannot take away all your pain unless I KILL you with the medicines I am treating you with. The oldsters are at least reasonable and understand this. The 20 something's are complete wimps. And seriously - the Internet does not have all the answers. Colloidal silver or whatever may indeed help, but there is no concrete data to back that up. So frustrating to go to work at oh dark thirty, work for a million hours, go home just to sleep a few hours then start over again. No thanks, no good job, meager pay. Ugh. Medicine sucks ass.


By anonymous at 16,Apr,13 00:04

wow, this is great. i am thrilled to find others who hate medicine as much as i do right now. i spent my whole entire life dreaming about being a doctor, and slowly the joy of medicine has disappeared over the years as i have slowly dragged my ass through med school and residency, now almost done with this never-ending hell. i no longer have any life left in me. i have lost my personality, myself, my joy for life, and my general ability to see a future. i used to be happy. i used to care. i still like my patients, that part is easy, they are children. i don't mind the parents at all. i hate the system, the assholes i have to work under and pretend to respect, the other pretentious pricks i train with, and most of all, the academic morons who can't teach. if only i could back in time... what a stupid career.
By anonymous at 09,May,13 15:19

what about the financial gains doctors can have later in life? when other people don't have a job, being a doctor is still very secure? Many doctors earn in the millions per year and the general public earns $50,000 ish.
By anonymous at 15,May,13 09:51

True - its a secure job. But it's definitely not true that doctors earn 'millions per year.'

A junior doc (ie first 5-10 years post-graduate) earns a pretty normal wage but work very long hours with lots of night shifts. The pay for junior doctor jobs would be pretty much on par for any other professional or trades qualified person who has to work the same hours. Except; doctors really do have more responsibility than most of these. If your junior accountant makes a mistake on your tax return that loses you $1000 dollars you are annoyed, but if he corrects his mistake you'll forget about it. If your doctor makes a mistake by missing a rare diagnosis that he hasn't seen before then you hate him and you probably will sue him too. As you should. I am not arguing that doctors shouldn't have that responsibility.

To be honest with you; i lived on much less than $50000 a year in the 7 years I was student (worked as a carer, then a university tutor during that time). And truth be told, I could happily do it again. Any doc who gets in it for the money is a fool. And its actually a rare motivation in my experience.

More common motivations are:
1) to help people
2) interested in studying physiology/anatomy/disease/surgery/human nature
3) its a secure job, particularly when alot of other jobs are about who you know not what you know
4) the parents like it and it still has some prestige (especially in migrant communities)

But the reality of the job can make you question your motivations.


By anonymous at 29,Apr,13 14:29

I've had a tough week. Its good to know others are finding it hard out there. I love working for the NHS and truly believe in free health care at the point of access, but I feel sometimes people rely on the good nature of Doctors and nurses so that the system can function. I sometimes feel I have not got very much to give by the end of the week. I have given my 20's over to work and I would very much like to enjoy my 30's. Do we have a tougher time than people in the financial sector or the lawyers?


By anonymous at 26,May,13 20:05

This is the first time I've seen this post and I'm so glad I stumbled onto it. I'm so sick of being a doctor and frankly, I think I've come to the point where I hate it. I'm 3 years post-residency, thought it would get better after residency, then maybe though it would get better after I passed my oral boards, but it still hasn't. I hate my work situation. I can't talk to anyone about this at work because all I hear from others at work is how much they love their job. I just can't comprehend that. I'm sick of entitled, unappreciative patients. I'm sick of working 24-48 hours straight without sleep and still expected to function and see patients in clinic, and wait, start the whole sleepless call cycle again the next day. As an obgyn, we have probably one of the worst call schedules of any specialty, but our reimbursement does not reflect the hours, the pain, sweat, blood, and tears that goes into it.

I can't understand why our field still treats its members so barbarically. Being expected to function on no sleep and still see whiny patients in clinic and continue with all the admin crap that has to be done by close of business that day. I can't stand working for those "9 to 5ers" who can't comprehend the pain and bullshit that we have to go through. I've got so much more to vent but will stop now.


By anonymous at 29,May,13 20:51

I am a resident doctor....1st year into residency. Worked real hard for it for 3 long years after Med school.I am ok with the job. I dont know.....May be i became a stone after i had an entirely screwed up personal life. I stay all night, Never sleep. Drink heavily.....It has only been my most trusted and best friend. Went into rleationships with 3 of my female doctors. One in Med school .....one on the road to residency and one during residency. In the beginning everything seemed perfect but alas all of them dumped me. May be It was not correct to date a colleague in the school or hospital .But what to do.....They are the only people I find really tuned up into.Eventually, I have no one now.Fed up with this cat-mouse hanky panky and emotional Drama.First off, It takes a lot to become a doctor and on this.....relationship drama with girls.Life turned into a living nightmare. I never slept for past 2 weeks. So, I decided not to involve any women in this life of mine.May be then only, I can continue my duties appropriately. May be I was unlucky with women or made some wrong choices. I dont care, I will continue what I have started. The day i decide i cannot carry on.... I will change the profession.
By anonymous at 11,Jun,13 21:52

It sounds like you're already having a hard time coping as it is and have turned to alcohol for solace. I went through a similar time during and after residency where I would look forward to having that glass of wine or two after work if I was ever "done" with work. Medical school and residency hardens you. You work so much and become so chronically fatigued that it's difficult to become sympathetic to patient complaints. You end up feeling more exhausted and depressed than anyone else you know, besides your co-residents. However, it seems like your symptoms are turning for the worse and you're probably going through some major depression. You should probably seek some help, maybe with therapy and antidepressants if need be before you really get to that point where you find that you can't carry on.
By anonymous at 25,Jul,13 15:39 Fold Up

lol..I think I am laughing on myself..afterall, I am a doctor


By Steven Vucelic at 30,Jul,13 12:40

If you're already trapped, try:

1- Living frugally, save up a little nest egg
2- Bail

Find something else to do--anything else.

Medicine will suck the joy, the hope the life out of you.

I was fishing a stream near my medical school, there were two homeless men under a bridge. They scrapped-up enough money to buy a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20.

That sat there drinking & giggling like little school girls.

Next day I'm doing my Anesthesia rotation, and see well-educated, well-paid, ~respected doctors, miserable as all hell.....

I don't envy the homeless men, but it took very little to make them happy.

I don't envy the doctors; they had almost everything, but happiness cannot be bought.


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