I'm broke. I'm waiting on a promotion that would double my pay, but I don't know when it will happen. My boyfriend is becoming lazy and depressed and even though he's unemployed, I find that I have to clean up after him constantly. I want to move out and just be by myself again, but I haven't been able to find anywhere that will take all of my pets. I can't even afford to buy a fucking trailer.
I'm trapped in this stupid college town full of assholes just wasting a really good opportunity to improve their lives. Instead of doing right, they just drink cheap liquor (paid for by daddy and sally mae) and bring down pay rates for everyone else. It is almost impossible to find a job with benefits because the college students, in general, don't need them. They have no clue how lucky they are, or what awaits them after they drop out.
I wasn't going to be stuck here. I was going to be an engineer. Then I started having panic attacks all the time. So I took some time off. They never really stopped, but they got worse when I returned to school again. This happened again. So, I've dropped out three times and now that shitty college job I had for some extra money is now all that stands between me and being homeless. It's cool, they promoted me and now I make $1.75 over minimum wage. But don't worry I still make $60 too much per month for food stamps.
It would all be okay if when I came home from work, I came back to a partner who was working towards the same thing I am. Mainly leaving this city and going somewhere we can get health insurance as a non-degreed people. Instead my partner's just sitting on the couch, in the dark, watching TV surrounded by the filth that he created during my absence.
I want to finish my degree, but I doubt I can do it because of the panic attacks. I can't get those fixed until I have health insurance. I can't move away from my boyfriend until I find a place that will take all of my pets. I can't leave this city until I have enough money to do the last thing, plus moving cots, and finding a job somewhere else. I can't fix my man, I've tried. I'm half a country away from family.
All I can do is wait on my possible transfer and promotion. I hope it happens soon, I'm not happy here. | |
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